Is my 3 year old son Autistic?

Hi, I’m new here and have joined because my husband and I have concerns over our 3 year old son’s development.

Autism has popped into our minds on several separate occasions since he was born, but his most recent symptoms include:

- jabbbers nonsense (we considered him to be a good ‘talker around aged 2 but now runs around babbling to himself)

- most of his speech throughout the day involves talking about or re-enacting his favourite tv programmes

- doesn’t listen. We can call his name many times over and over before he finally looks at us (he will look up eventually)

- he will look us in the eye, but often when we are taking to him he just jabbers over us about Paw Patrol/Fireman Sam etc.

- won’t answer most questions. Unless it is something about what he wants to eat or watch on television it is a reall battle to get him to answer a simple question I.E “what did you do at nursery today?”

- when we ask something like “would you like a sandwich” he’ll reply with “like a sandwich”. 

- often gestures towards something and grunts when he wants something instead of asking for what he wants. If we say “you need to use your words to ask mummy” he’ll say “ask mummy”

- we find it desperately difficult to play with him or teach him anything. If we try to initiate a game he’ll geberally say “no” or wander off. Sometimes he’ll join in, but not for long

- most days he just runs around holding farm animals or dinosaurs, shouting, playing his own game with them in his head (we thought this was just his crazy imagination at first, but since looking up symptoms this appears to be one)

- he has shown no interest whatsoever in potty training. Not bothered when he’s soiled his nappy, doesn’t like sitting on the potty etc.

- he says “you” for “me” eg. If he hurts himself he’ll say “you hurt you hand” (we have been working on this and he does sometimes say it correctly by himself now)

- he’s always been behind on motor skills (particularly gross motor). Late walker, still can’t jump, won’t take the stairs one after the other etc.

- he can recite books off by heart while turning the pages - he’s obviously not reading at this age, so he just knows the words off by heart of a lot of long and sometimes complicated books

- walks on his tip toes (probably half the time)

- plays on his own. Doesn’t make attempts to engage with other children (though seems keen to talk to adults)

HOWEVER,

we are so back and forth with our opinion on this, as there are some big symptoms that he doesn’t display, including:

- he’s a very smiley, jolly boy, full of character. Whenever we go to the shops etc. he will have people smiling or laughing at him. He engages with strangers and says “hello”. People always comment on how funny/outgoing he is

- he will cuddle/kiss us when we ask him to. He will kiss his baby brother, stroke the dog etc. If he hurts himself, he will come for a hug and to kiss it better

- he doesn’t have any issue with needing to be in a routine. We can do bedtime routine at nanny’s, he goes to bed late on holidays etc. No issue there at all, he’s very adaptable

- other than waking early his whole life (5am), he has always been a very good sleeper

- no noticeable issues with loud noises or busy places like the supermarket. As I previously said, he has people laughing round the supermarket 

- no unusual intonation to his speech

- he seems very expressive with his face

- doesn’t appear to ‘stim’, no rocking, flapping etc.

- not bothered by clothes or particularly by food - happy to eat most things

There is probably lots more, but I’m aware this post is already huge! Sorry for the essay, but we are really stuck. We have a GP appointment at the end of January, but I’m struggling a little bit (I have a 5 month old too) and really could do with some opinions or similar stories, as we are conscious of going down this road and potentially being wrong. Could it be something else? Could he just be a slow developer? He has watched a LOT of television recently due to his baby brother being born and having feeding difficulties which has taken up a lot of my time.

Thank you in advance.

Parents
  • Hi, 

    My daughter showed alot of these behaviours both on the for and against side that you have detailed along with alot of others, my partner and I kept going towards autism but then she would seem to settle for a while and we would think to ourselves "we were wrong she's just a slow developer ( were warned she probably would be due to severe complications after birth)"  but then she would back slide and something else would present it self and we would start wondering again . Anyway this went on for quite some time she attends mainstream school is highly intelligent and has a few friends but we are 100% sure she is autistic and are pursuing diagnosis (difficult as she masks so well) 

    Talk to your health visitor they can monitor development and give you a better idea on what to do, I know it can be difficult especially with younger children taking up so much of your time we also had this with ours 

    Good luck 

Reply
  • Hi, 

    My daughter showed alot of these behaviours both on the for and against side that you have detailed along with alot of others, my partner and I kept going towards autism but then she would seem to settle for a while and we would think to ourselves "we were wrong she's just a slow developer ( were warned she probably would be due to severe complications after birth)"  but then she would back slide and something else would present it self and we would start wondering again . Anyway this went on for quite some time she attends mainstream school is highly intelligent and has a few friends but we are 100% sure she is autistic and are pursuing diagnosis (difficult as she masks so well) 

    Talk to your health visitor they can monitor development and give you a better idea on what to do, I know it can be difficult especially with younger children taking up so much of your time we also had this with ours 

    Good luck 

Children
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