Hi I'm new and struggling

Hi I'm a newbie on here and have twin boys who are 18. One is on the autistic spectrum with ADD and has ehlers danlos syndrome plus is entral fed 3 times a week due to problems with food intolerance and weight gain issues and has bad panic and anxiety attacks regularly.

My son is low functioning autistic but it's showing more and more as he's getting older and dealing with the adult world around him.  He struggles with change and making friends, although this last year he managed to make a circle of friends and get a gf so not all bad until recently!  Although 18 he is more 16 and his friends are all moving on and getting jobs and so he is struggling with all of this.  His gf also finished with him and it's hit him quite hard,  I think she started to struggle with his autistic side of not wanting to go out, his struggle meeting new people and the maturity level, but they stayed friends which is good.

He doesn't understand social q's and thinks so completely different to everyone it's having quite an impact on us all and I'm struggling to cope. I have fought tooth and nail for my child with his health, mental health, education and family to make them understand and get him the help he has needed and it's been hard but I did it and still am doing it but I am at my wits end with it all.  I had a battle on my hands to get him onto a level 2 course for college, I did it but now the battle I have is to get him to do the work.  In his head, how he does it is right and everyone else is wrong, Inc his tutors. At home he thinks it's his down time so no work is done then it's all rushed and then I have to deal with all the upset when he's told it's not been done correctly! He has an EHCP and an LSA but the college is great with the support the tutors don't understand him and still treat him like all the other students. Believe me I have had so many meeting and email conversations I could be doing the course myself.  I am now also in the middle of transitioning him over adult services with the hospital and dietician and it's worrying me sick as now he's an adult what I say doesn't count if it's not what my son says but my son tells people what they want to hear then tells me different back home and I then deal with the meltdowns and his anxiety!

I'm not well myself mentally and health wise and the stress of this all is just becoming all too much but no one seems to be able to help me or offer me any advice on how to cope with my now adult autistic son who so isn't an adult!

Sorry for the long post but I just don't know where to turn so thought I try here. 

Thank you x