Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
This is my first post here.My 2 years old son was referred to community pediatric .I received a letter today with questionnaire for parents and school/nursery .My son doesn't attend any nursery or play groups.We were a few times in our local children centre but it was to hard for me and him to cope.
Should I send back the school questionnaire with my ?
I am scared and confused .
I do not know where to start.
I am not English however I have lived in UK for last 13 years.My son was born here . He was under care of pediatric team from 4weeks old due to silent reflux.At age of 3 months he had episode of sezuire like attacks.He had we eeg done and we have been told it was due to his refluxs .Never happened again.He was discharge from clinic at age 16 months old.
During his appointments in the clinic I stressed several times that I have some concerns about his behaviour like not reacting when call, not smilling,not playing with us,not babbling a lot,not sleepingBut I was told that everything is fine.
My daughter was born when my son was 17 months old.Two months later he stopped talk.Well he had only two words:daddy and nanny.He never call me mum .
Only then my husband agreed that something is not right with him.
We took him to HV and GP.Only HV agreed that he is showing some signs of autism: repetive behaviour,no eye contact .
But we have been asked to wait until his 2 years old assessment.GP was the same.
We took him privately to see psychologist and she agreed with our concerns but because of his age he should be seen again when he will turn 2.
Well after his 2 years assessment he was reffered to community pediatrics by gp and for hearing test.
I was informed only then that I can reffer him for speach therapy ( still waiting for appointments). That of reason we took him to speach pathologist privately.After initial assessment we have been told that my son speach is on level of 12 months baby. We started therapy with her.And I think his understanding is better .After two months of appointments once a week he started to say daddy and nanny again .He can say all sounds of farm animals.All together he has a few more words like come,there and here.
We still have problem with his sleep.He never slept through night.He can be up 4-11 times at every night.We are knackered.
He can not express his needs when he is hungry or thirsty.
He has a lot of meltdowns when we want dress him and go out or when we came back home.I just cannot stand them.It can takes over an hour to dress him and go out and after return home another hour or longer to calm him .
Sorry for so long post.
I do not have family here to help or so close friends.
I really do not know what help we could get.I really would like to send him to nursery but after 2 years of maternity leave we just can not afford it.
We not claiming any benefits because we both work full time.Hovewer now I think I'll want be able to comeback to work.
My HV is just useless and not want or cannot help us.
It took us 8 long years to have my son.And now I am just so tired and depressed.
What I should do ?Where to ask for help? Is it any financial support which we could ask for?
What to do with school questionnaire ?I am scared that without professional opinion he won't get appointment with community pediatrics .
Please advise me.
My heart goes out to you all. Sleep deprivation is one of the worst conditions , some times making it very hard to make decisions. Our son never slept for the first two years of his life. We felt like we were going crazy. Ask your doctor if there are any organisations that can help. Years ago be it 27 years ago there was an organisation called crysis it helped with crying babies. We had no help from our families and were left at the time on our own , poor husband went to work so tired how he kept going I will never know. Advice was every time he cried I would look in on him ( around age two years at the time not a baby) just a short time to make sure he was ok then leave let him to cry so hard to do this but within three nights he realized that we were not going to pick him up and we never looked back after that he never woke up through the night again. It maybe a little distressing but it worked. Sadly sleep depredation will make you depressed I have so much sympathy for you. I remember trying not to fall asleep during the day whilst our son was running around as happy as anything full of energy. If you start to get angry call any one even the Samaritans if you don't have any one they are fab,or this sight is great just talk to someone like me who understands can help. Is it possible for either of you to get an hours sleep after work. Try different clothes it might be a touch thing certain materials try all different types you never know. When you are both worn out have you thought to order shopping from the super markets on line to be delivered? Not always expensive if you order own brands and not every week. Stock up on Uht milk try and think of every way to make your life not so busy. X