• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 71 subscribers
  • Views 2059 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Newly diagnosed

Mummy P

hello, my 8 year old son has just been diagnosed autistic and I am looking for help and advice.

he is in mainstream school and coping with that but when out of school it’s a different story. He is having more and more meltdowns at home with my husband and I. If one of us tell him to do something and he doesn’t want to it usually changes into a full blown meltdown and recently he has began to kick and spit at us. Everything is really affecting family life and makes weekends very stressful and not enjoyable. 

We have another boy so need help in how to get him to do things like tidy room, get ready for bed etc without it leading to complete meltdown etc

Parents

  • Have you considered that when he comes home he's had a stressful day fitting in. He's probably frazzled inside.The world gets more stressful as we get older.

    You might not realise it but 'normal' people are incredibly chaotic and unpredictably random. Your demands on him may not form a pattern in his mind so you are catching him off guard.

    He's probably 99% stressed from school so he needs time to discharge before he can get into 'home mode', so if you accidentally interrupt him, you add the extra 1% stress which takes him over the edge - you will get the full force of what he can't discharge at school.

    You might need to look at your own home routines and try to get some simpler structure in place so he can predict his environment better. Maybe even write down an agreed rota so he knows what's expected and that he can see it's fair - and that everyone gets policed the same way.

  • in reply to Plastic

    I agree with above- when he comes home, he needs to release the stress that 'coping' with school causes. Take it from someone who has masked most of her life. I'm an adult, but lists, charts and routines are really important - a picture chart/list of tasks with the daily 'duties' he can do may help. I put things for myself on the fridge so I can see what needs to be done every day. You being ultra calm is very important. Meltdowns are not pleasant to see I guess, but sometimes he will need to discharge- a soft, safe place is important and allow him to shut down and re-charge before it gets to meltdown. 

Reply
  • in reply to Plastic

    I agree with above- when he comes home, he needs to release the stress that 'coping' with school causes. Take it from someone who has masked most of her life. I'm an adult, but lists, charts and routines are really important - a picture chart/list of tasks with the daily 'duties' he can do may help. I put things for myself on the fridge so I can see what needs to be done every day. You being ultra calm is very important. Meltdowns are not pleasant to see I guess, but sometimes he will need to discharge- a soft, safe place is important and allow him to shut down and re-charge before it gets to meltdown. 

Children
No Data