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Social services

NAS49777
over 5 years ago

My son is 8 years old and was diagnosed with ASD a few years ago. My ex works alongside social workers and thinks he’s God when it comes to social services. He tacks ‘well i do know more than you, i work there’ on to the end of every sentence. It’s just embarrassing Rolling eyes

We are currently going through the process of applying/moving my son to a SEN provision and he’s been telling him that if he gets kicked out of mainstream school(they’re struggling to keep him in all day) he’ll get taken in to care as it’s already on the cards and social services are watching us. I bit back this evening when he said it in front of me, he’s just saying it to scare him and it’s not true. Anyone can homeschool if they chose(he’s just too lazy to ever do it) and children DONT get taken away for being ‘out of education’! He did the usual ‘you know nothing, you are clueless, I work there so I know’ again and I’m just furious about it. We have a meeting with the Ed Psych on Friday and I’m going to ask them about it in front of him to shut him up. 

Does anyone actually know of any child taken into care because their school weren’t able to educate them so homeschooling was the only option? I’m thinking it’s utter rubbish as I know loads of Sen families in this position.

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    I'm sure he'd be lovely with a nice Chianti and some fava beans or something? :-D

  • over 5 years ago in reply to NAS49777

    I also completely missed the bit that said ex so apologies for writing husband in my answer. I was wondering how you were managing to live with him.

  • over 5 years ago in reply to NAS49777

    Such a relief to hear that! 

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Sunflower

    Hasn’t been my problem for many years thank god Rofl

  • over 5 years ago in reply to NAS49777

    When I first read your post I missed the 'ex' and thought "how can she bear to be with this person?" - I'm so glad you're not! 

  • over 5 years ago

    Thanks everyone, makes me feel better. I’m bringing it up at the meeting in a few days, I’m sure the Ed Psych will set him straight. It just infuriates me! So so glad he’s an ex Joy 

  • over 5 years ago

    Your ex sounds charming! I work in a school that has several children that have different needs as to being able to remain in school all day not one of these has been taken into care! 

    In my youth I was put into the care system as I was lashing out at home and disappearing for days as well as missing school and at the time this happened social services had no interest in the school attendance as that was the local authoritys problem. Also bears mentioning that all the children in the home I was sent to had issues with school and not one of them was in care for that reason.

    Personally I would tell your ex to shut up unless he has some practical and helpful advice 

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Deleted user
    It sounds as if your husband is trying to scare your son into behaving. Unfortunately autism doesn't work like that. And it isn't going to help your son if he is going to school anxious about getting taken away from his home.

    Quite so. And if it does happen that he has to leave mainstream education, it won't do his relationship with Dad very much good once he finds out that he's been lied to.

  • over 5 years ago

    I have never heard of a child being taken into care because the school couldn't educate them. If the school decide they can't meet his needs or exclude him then your local authority has a responsibility to find a different school setting for him. It is slightly different if you choose to take your child out of school and then it would be your responsibility to home school him until you could find another provision for him.

    It sounds as if your husband is trying to scare your son into behaving. Unfortunately autism doesn't work like that. And it isn't going to help your son if he is going to school anxious about getting taken away from his home.

    I think you need to talk to your husband away from your son and ask him to think about the impact he is having on him by making comments like that.

    I hope you find the right provision for your son. It makes so much difference.

  • over 5 years ago

    I just want to add a small part to this as I was 14 when I was diagnosed after I had a breakdown in my secondary school. I couldn’t face school ever again and my mother went through the SENs procedure and managed to get a statement of special educational needs for me. She even went to a SENs tribunal about it. She had a lot of support from a group called IPSEA, Independent Parental Special Educational Advice, https://www.ipsea.org.uk/. When my mother spoke to them, they actually helped with advocates in my area, connected to IPSEA, and they paid for an educational psychologist’s report, and occupational therapist’s report. I was home taught by two home and hospital tutors that were paid for by my local authority for five and a half years. IPSEA was then of great help to my mum.