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Perfection

southafr

Hi there, my son is 8 years old and has ASD and he has always to some extend being a perfectionist, but lately it has taken over.  If he buys a toy, or we get him a toy, when he gets it home and he finds a little scratch on it, he will not play with it even though we or him has spent money on it.  If he has a toy he has played with for ages and then notices a scratch on it or the paint has come off slightly that is it he does not want to play with it anymore and wants us to throw it away or give to charity.  It has been with toys he has had for years and now does not want to play with them and any new stuff we buy him.  I dont understand his need for perfection and how I can make him understand that its okay to play with toys like that.  He is the same with drawing.  He is a brillant artist but if it goes wrong or is not how he imagines it, even though he might of spent half an hour doing it he will tear it up and throw it in the bin and get very angry.  Wondered if anyone else had this problem.

Parents

  • I can relate to this. I was extremely perfectionistic as a child. Age 8 I received some plastercine for my birthday and told myself I would wait until the evening before playing with it. But temptation got in the way and I opened it and made a ball out of one of the strips, thus 'messing up' the plastercine. For the rest of the day I tried to mentally 'undo' the mess in my mind, endlessly obsessing over it. I wanted things to remain as they were before being unwrapped, in a perfect state. Even now it takes me ages before I can actually use presents. It can take me two years before I will use toiletries I have received, because I don't want to unwrap them.

    I am the same with clothes. I don't like washing them because washing them means the colour fades, but I know I have to wash them now and again. However, I try and delay this. If I get a stain on some clothing I will obsess about it and it irritates me a lot. I like things to remain as they were when I bought them. And I find it hard throwing my possessions away.

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  • I can relate to this. I was extremely perfectionistic as a child. Age 8 I received some plastercine for my birthday and told myself I would wait until the evening before playing with it. But temptation got in the way and I opened it and made a ball out of one of the strips, thus 'messing up' the plastercine. For the rest of the day I tried to mentally 'undo' the mess in my mind, endlessly obsessing over it. I wanted things to remain as they were before being unwrapped, in a perfect state. Even now it takes me ages before I can actually use presents. It can take me two years before I will use toiletries I have received, because I don't want to unwrap them.

    I am the same with clothes. I don't like washing them because washing them means the colour fades, but I know I have to wash them now and again. However, I try and delay this. If I get a stain on some clothing I will obsess about it and it irritates me a lot. I like things to remain as they were when I bought them. And I find it hard throwing my possessions away.

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