secure unit

We lost our first hearing. Our solicitor said he had never come across anything like this before. Aran's solicitor is now going to go to a more senior member of their team to take this on. It was like we had landed on another planet. Aran would not attend. We were not surprised as he won't attend doctors/dentists without us taking him. The panel asked to pass a note from me into him. The secure unit manageress would not. We wanted him to know he was safe and we were here for him. I now believe that this is no longer a case about Aran. It has become a 'lesson' to be taught to myself and my husband for being too demanding. We questioned things. We pushed forward when we knew Aran was not being cared for, we rang twice daily, we asked about policies. We were always polite and respectful. Why do I feel like I have to explain myself …… I suppose it's because it whole thing has become so surreal that I wonder if anyone would believe us. We reluctantly gave our child for assessment. We were told there was a CAHMS team onsight. There is no such thing. They come once a week etc. We would ask every week to help us get in contact with the team so to help them with their knowledge of Aran. TO explain that Aran had to be assessed with a parent present as he would not participate otherwise...….guess what Aran would not agree to be seen. Aran has been in that place now since the 4th Oct unseen. We lost because the reports by the clinical psychiastrist were based on the unit manageress who gave misleading information. Not all were such but she had an agenda to remove him from close support and she wrote a report to ensure this happened. Yes - I am saying that immoral and illegal practice is going on. It is. Aran was fighting to get free of his prisoners and kept saying he wanted to get out. That he was being held against his will. He fought for his freedom. He eventually retreated to his bedroom and stayed there for hours on end where he attempted to gorge out his wrist with a playing card......then he is seen as a risk to himself. He had never ever done anything like this before. I wonder if he thought he would be taken away in an ambulance to escape...he is a smart boy. Worse, a despair has enveloped him and he is sinking. The 'scratch' and my goodness it was far from a scratch. I had to stop myself vomiting when I saw it- But this was turned on Aran against him. He had not been allowed out of the unit because he was violent to staff, so was indoors for days on end as a risk assessed into a black hole of capture. I think I would have lost my mind. So a child fights for his freedom, that is not naughty. I believe now that Aran was doing the only thing he could do. He asked for his freedom first, then turned to violence. I have never condoned violence but if I had to choose my son to be violent of to loose himself to a stronger will, then I understand him. He felt trapped and mistreated. They would not follow the advice of the clinical psychologist who explained that to manage Aran start off with high reward until Aran trusts and forms good habits. They used a punative system in the name of risk assessment. Upshot. They still have our child. We spent a fortune on our lawyer- nearly £1000 as travelling 2 hours  back and forth plus it was time in advance of the hearing and after. It turned out to be a long hearing. We see now, that this is not about Aran, it is about my husband and I. I would have been the most subservient mother if only I knew. The torture continues. I would loose all my limbs to get him out of there. We are trapped. FOR NOW. When a time comes I will help Aran take legal action. My poor kid.

We lost our first hearing. Our solicitor said he had never come across anything like this before. Aran's solicitor is now going to go to a more senior member of their team to take this on. It was like we had landed on another planet. Aran would not attend. We were not surprised as he won't attend doctors/dentists without us taking him. The panel asked to pass a note from me into him. The secure unit manageress would not. We wanted him to know he was safe and we were here for him. I now believe that this is no longer a case about Aran. It has become a 'lesson' to be taught to myself and my husband for being too demanding. We questioned things. We pushed forward when we knew Aran was not being cared for, we rang twice daily, we asked about policies. We were always polite and respectful. Why do I feel like I have to explain myself …… I suppose it's because it whole thing has become so surreal that I wonder if anyone would believe us. We reluctantly gave our child for assessment. We were told there was a CAHMS team onsight. There is no such thing. They come once a week etc. We would ask every week to help us get in contact with the team so to help them with their knowledge of Aran. TO explain that Aran had to be assessed with a parent present as he would not participate otherwise...….guess what Aran would not agree to be seen. Aran has been in that place now since the 4th Oct unseen. We lost because the reports by the clinical psychiastrist were based on the unit manageress who gave misleading information. Not all were such but she had an agenda to remove him from close support and she wrote a report to ensure this happened. Yes - I am saying that immoral and illegal practice is going on. It is. Aran was fighting to get free of his prisoners and kept saying he wanted to get out. That he was being held against his will. He fought for his freedom. He eventually retreated to his bedroom and stayed there for hours on end where he attempted to gorge out his wrist with a playing card......then he is seen as a risk to himself. He had never ever done anything like this before. I wonder if he thought he would be taken away in an ambulance to escape...he is a smart boy. Worse, a despair has enveloped him and he is sinking. The 'scratch' and my goodness it was far from a scratch. I had to stop myself vomiting when I saw it- But this was turned on Aran against him. He had not been allowed out of the unit because he was violent to staff, so was indoors for days on end as a risk assessed into a black hole of capture. I think I would have lost my mind. So a child fights for his freedom, that is not naughty. I believe now that Aran was doing the only thing he could do. He asked for his freedom first, then turned to violence. I have never condoned violence but if I had to choose my son to be violent of to loose himself to a stronger will, then I understand him. He felt trapped and mistreated. They would not follow the advice of the clinical psychologist who explained that to manage Aran start off with high reward until Aran trusts and forms good habits. They used a punative system in the name of risk assessment. Upshot. They still have our child. We spent a fortune on our lawyer- nearly £1000 as travelling 2 hours  back and forth plus it was time in advance of the hearing and after. It turned out to be a long hearing. We see now, that this is not about Aran, it is about my husband and I. I would have been the most subservient mother if only I knew. The torture continues. I would loose all my limbs to get him out of there. We are trapped. FOR NOW. When a time comes I will help Aran take legal action. My poor kid.

It has been a journey that I would like to retell. But I doubt anyone would believe I am telling the truth. Aran is still there. It is insidious. One example....just one to show what I am up against. There is no log of Aran's wrist incident. It was too minor to log!!!!!!!  He has a scar still across his wrist and that is since the 26th October.We were told in a meeting that he had scratched is forearm. The reality is something else completely. I would not have let my 16 yr old son visit Aran if I knew what we were going to find. Aran pointed out his wrist to his brother. We were stunned. My husband had to tturn away and put his hand over his mouth to prevent himself from vomiting. So- this is not an incident that warrented logging!!!!!!!! .

S.w. are hitting out us and are looking for anything to discredit us. e.g. on the LAC review is was stated that I brought too many sweets to aran on visits and I used such to entice visits. At the last lac review I produced a letter from my dentist who stated clearly that I had attended all appointments over the years for all children. Not a tooth was pulled or a single filling needed ever. It stated that my children had well looked after teeth. SO - if I have manged to do right by my children all these years and this is evidence proved and it is not true that I inticed him- I also brought in dvd of David Attenbouurgh, top gear, book, comics, clothes etc. None of that is mentioned. I am being hit so unfairly. Not once did I bring in a fizzy drink. I saw a family visiting and they had heaps of fizzy drinks and sweets. I know I am being targeted. WHY.....I don t know. We have letters of recommendations from so many people indicating  the kind of people we are. I have stepped into a another existence that I didn't know about and a set of rules to a game that has started and I can't follow the llogic or next move. We had two Hearings.Aran came to meet the panel when the room was clear to tell them he wanted to come home. He said it clearly twice. Aran is still there as the panel wanted to complete the assessments. We have spent £3,700 on two Hearings. We borrowed money to cover this. We have told frends and family that we can't buy gifts this year. It will be for the kids only. It could be the easiest Christmas yet- no shopping or wrapping!!! 

A safeguarder has been appointed. He spent over 2 hours with us last week. Luckily our paper work is thorough and we have been working so hard to ward off each untrue fact. It's been a full time job. I saw Aran on Wednesday last. His congnitive ability has drooped significantly. He is a shadow of himself in comparison to his previous functioning. I will have so much work ahead of me to help repair the damage. I sleep 3 hours a night. Medication is not enough to hold me under. I can't eat as I am such a state of emergency. I know I need to keep strong as it is exam year and my oldest boy wants to get into medicine....what a time of it he is having. I am trying to shield them but the horror of this is to big to hide under the bed. They are aware of what is going on- all 3 of them and we talk together.

Aran has remained peaceful. My social story to him - drawing the road home made him understand that he needed to be peaceful. He understood and remained peaceful.

My Son. 13 years old. Beautiful.  a few months ago after church- I had gone to light a candle and Aran remained in his seat, kneeling down, head bent, fingers clasped under his chin, eyes closed and in a deep silent prayer/thought. It struck but a fear and spark of hope in me. Fear because Aran was praying like some one far beyond his years. Hope that he could pray when he needed to. Maybe something in him knew the ordeal ahead. If  I had know what lay ahead I would have packed our bags- sold everything and moved country.

Aran has been traumatised. So have all of us in the family.Brutality that is rotten. 

I thank you all for listening to me. Forgive my spelling. I do not have the will to go and correct. I have met some wonderful people on this journey. Nuggets of hope.

x

This is terribly sad news. It's vital to use facts, evidence and legal arguments as rigorously as possible, so it's good that a more senior member of the team is taking this on. It is going to be a tough fight so you need all the resources you can garner. 

Your experience resonates with research I did many years ago with parents of children with learning disabilities. Instead of being seen as a natural loving desire to protect the interests of their children, their actions were pathologised and used to exclude them from decision-making.

Practitioners who feel confident about the quality and ethics of the care they provide do not need to distance parents in this way. There is a Catch 22 of course, the worse the treatment of the child gets, the more distressed the parents get, and as they intensify their fight for their children they risk being pathologised even more. 

Do not blame yourself. Acquiescence and subservience do not necessarily lead to better outcomes. You pushed forward because you knew Aran was not being cared for properly, and you were respectful and polite. It's hard to keep a sense of what is 'normal' in this Kafkaesque situation - you did what any loving parent would.

This section from the Scottish Parliament policy document I referenced previously seems pertinent to Aran's situation: 

Distressed behavior could “reflect inappropriate or inadequate services. In this case, the correct response is to provide the appropriate services, rather than place the individual under greater constraints. Concerns were voiced that the Act can result in people being detained for lengthy periods because the right services are not available". (page 22)