Hi my eldest child is 15 years old. Since he was tiny we have tried to get professionals to realise he was struggling, that he was different from other children. For the last 5 -6 years we have fought for a full assessment and diagnosis. I was at his school for meetings 3-4 times a month, spoke to them every day virtually. He would curl up in ball a and cry, begging not to go to school. He broke his hand twice in school hitting walls and all he got was anger management sessions (5 times). He was bullied constantly and had a few acquaintances but never any actual friends. School for him was hell and isolation became his saving grace. His increasing anger and anxiety meant most days he would end up I. Isolation.We even changed his school at the end of year 10 in desperation to try to get him some peace at school, but though the new school was brilliant and tried to help we now know it was too little too late.
He finally got to see the CAMH Crisis team after 2 days of hell, during which time he ran away for 15 hours and sent messages saying he wanted it all to end. We managed to find him and get him home but he refused to eat and drink. The next day he went from being morose and lethargic to completely manic. He tried to run and take my car, he became panicked and aggressive so we had to call the GP out as an emergency. The GP called the police because the level of aggression escalated and my son was lashing out with a cricket bat in terror and head butting walls. That day he smashed 3 holes in brick walls, left 2 doors with gapping holes in them and demolished all his bedroom furniture. It took 4 police to handcuff my son to stop him hurting himself and they had a tazzer on his chest and by this point the CAMH Crisis team were on the way. After 4 hours of talking to my son he had calmed down and CAMH mentioned Aspergers for the first time. 4 weeks later and half way through the assessments the specialists are pretty certain that my son has ADHD, ASD and serious Anxiety and Anger issues. My son is lonely, anxious, depressed and struggling. He has disengaged from his siblings as he is worried about his anger and says he is scared and that he doesn’t understand. I am relieved that finally he is getting help but I can’t stop my anger at all the professionals over the years that said he was just a naughty ignorant kid. I feel guilty that I didn’t shout loader, stamp my feet and fight harder and that the one that is suffering because of this is my son. A mother’s job is to protect her child - I failed miserably. I don’t know what the future holds at the moment but I’m hoping that my son will learn to smile one day.
Any ideas on how to help my son and re-build our family are gratefully received. Sorry for the long post.
