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Struggling

NAS39213

HI All,

New to the forum and to posting anything... if I am honest, so please bear with me.

I have a 14 year old son who has a diagnosis of AS and ADHD. Recently his 'at home' behaviours have become much more angry and defiant..so much so any sanctions or rewards seem to have little effect.

A few weeks ago, he shared with me that he felt like wanted to do girls things.. what I mean is wear make up, nail varnish. He described himself as a Femboy.

As you can imagine, this came as bit of a shock and to be honest I have struggled to deal with it. We have had quite a few arguments and meltdowns as I have taken all the make up paraphernalia from him.

Looking online, it seems split personality disorders are common in people with aspergers, but I am wondering if anyone else has encountered this and can provide any advice?

Thanks in advance

Parents

  • Hi. Please don’t confuse experimenting with identity with split personality disorders and Aspergers! They really have very little to do with each other! Also, are you sure the anger is not mostly your own? Your son confided in you. No matter how shocked you were/are did you really have a sensible two way discussion about how best to deal with experimentation etc.? 

    Many of us are behind our peers in maturity. Younger boys often like to try nail varnish etc. My non autistic relative wore a skirt as a teenager. He doesn’t now. We just let him experiment. He certainly didn’t get a reaction.

    Teenagers are teenagers. They are renowned for being rebellious. And, guess what? They grow into adults, like you and me. It’s a credit to you that your son was able to confide in you. I would have loved to have a mother I could talk to about my concerns. Be kind to both of you. 

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  • Hi. Please don’t confuse experimenting with identity with split personality disorders and Aspergers! They really have very little to do with each other! Also, are you sure the anger is not mostly your own? Your son confided in you. No matter how shocked you were/are did you really have a sensible two way discussion about how best to deal with experimentation etc.? 

    Many of us are behind our peers in maturity. Younger boys often like to try nail varnish etc. My non autistic relative wore a skirt as a teenager. He doesn’t now. We just let him experiment. He certainly didn’t get a reaction.

    Teenagers are teenagers. They are renowned for being rebellious. And, guess what? They grow into adults, like you and me. It’s a credit to you that your son was able to confide in you. I would have loved to have a mother I could talk to about my concerns. Be kind to both of you. 

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