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Is it autism??

NAS39189

Hi,

its my first time here, and I could really use some good advice. I have three girls, a17 year old and 12 year old twins. One of my teins, Amber, is struggling a lot. We all are. For about 18 months now Amber is getting worse. It just started with crying, not knowing why but she was getting very upset. It kept going so I took her to the GP. We were referred to CAHMS it the may of 2016, we were eventually seen in April of 2017. I’m sure it’s not in every case but we are still dealing with them, but they aren’t much help at all. We have been assigned to a lady who is a mental health nurse. Amber is getting worse for example she screams, like she is being attacked, has horrendous panic attacks, she slaps and punches herself in the head repeatedly, she claws her face, pulls her hair. Ambers sleep pattern is all over, her eating is suffering, Amber and her twin sister Morgan aren’t identical but extremely similar, but now Morgan looks older,where Amber is smaller looks thinner, and just so fragile. Amber doesn’t liked to be touched, conferred, or hugged, it’s like hugging a stick. Sometimes she covers her ears and says everything is to loud, when it isn’t. She’s very very talented in drawing. When she finds she likes something she researched it to the point of being an expert. I’ve told CAHMS several times that I’m thinking she could be on the scale, but the mental health nurse says no, because she can hold a conversation and is very articulate!! Things are so stressful at home it’s not a nice place to be. Me and my husband are arguing all the time, her twin sister is really suffering because of it all. She gets very frightened when Amber has an episode, I don’t know if it’s a twin thing but they seem to feel a lot of what’s going ineith the other. Ambers missing a lot of school, but they are being brilliant.

Im so sorry it’s been a long message, and I’ve tried to include soy, but I feel strongly that something else is st play then just anxiety as the say, I’m just a frightened confused parent wanting answers. 

Many suggestions? Does it sound like it could be?? Or am I looking too far in yo things 

thanks 

catherine xxx

Parents

  • Hi, 

    I work as a carer with adults on the autistic spectrum and from the way you describe your daughter, she sounds as though she has some strongly pronounced autistic traits and in my opinion is likely to be on the spectrum. Per Trogluddite's advice, do push for a second opinion. It's your daughter's right and the key to accessing more support.

    If the school is supportive perhaps they can work with you to pro-actively come up with strategies to support your daughter in the meantime. 

    Some helpful strategies could be:

    • Take MP3 with preferred music & headphones to school (useful to block background noise)
    • Small discreet 'fiddle items' she can carry in her bag /pockets to use to self soothe /'stim' (square of bubble wrap, soft fabric, satin ribbon, squishy stress balls etc..Whatever works for your daughter)
    • Aromatherapy oils - Put a calming scent on fabric square or scarf (lavender or vanilla tend to be relaxing)
    • Perhaps there's a quiet room at school she can have access to in-between lessons to rest from noise and the constant social interaction. 
    • Small sketchpad & pencils / zentangle 'mindful' colouring books 

    Working with your daughter I'm sure you'll be able to come up with a list of what helps her relax and what sensory stimulus she finds stressful and distressing. 

    Many girls on the spectrum start to experience problems around pre / early puberty when their compensatory coping strategies are outstripped by the increasing social complexity of their female peer group. I suspect this /and sensory over stimulus is what may be happening for your daughter.  Another well-known indicator of ASC is a student is well behaved at school but then having meltdowns once home as all the sensory stress, social confusion and emotional distress of (potentially) being bullied is released. 

    To aid sleep, I wondered if she may benefit from playing some white noise in her room at night and perhaps having blackout blinds fitted in her room if it isn't already dark enough. A weighted blanket (the weight she can use is dependent on her own body weight. If she has a small frame you need to be careful about this) may help her feel more grounded and relaxed. 

    Hope this is of help. 

    Saz

    BOOK LINK:

    www.tonyattwood.com.au/.../girls-and-women-who-have-aspergers

    RELAXATION /WHITE NOISE APP (Android version. Mac version also available online)

    play.google.com/.../details

    WEIGHTED BLANKET:

    gravityblankets.co.uk/

  • in reply to Yup, definitely Autistic!

    Thank you for reply! 

    Im going to keep pushing for answers. School are brilliant, i don’t know where we would be without them. They have a space amber can go when she needs to. 

    Thank you xx

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