Published on 12, July, 2020
My son is 8 and hurts other children. I’m not sure it is malicious but he will hit out, throw things, spit, bite or screech at others.
I am at my wits end. I just don’t know what to do.
There seems to be no trigger.
today we were in the play centre and he was playing well.
Next thing he has hit a small child with a large soft block in the soft play area and then spat at another child. No trigger no reason.
I cannot watch him every second of the day. I cannot predict when these things will happen
we talk and explain inappropriate behaviours. We reinforce positive behaviour and provide consequences for not good behaviours.
He wasn’t distressed, it wasn’t too noisy, he was having fun.
how do I stop this behaviour. He is loosing friendships, I can’t trust him to be alone with friends or sibling.
I just don’t know what else to do.
He has ASD and ADHD diagnosis.
Has anyone any advice please?
From 35 years of dealing with My severely autistic son,, and fighting for whatever rights he will be entitled to. I am still in that position. I need a Human Rights Barrister as my Council are going to get a Deprivation of Liberty Order in the Court of Protection against My Son completely in Breach of his Article 8 Human Rights for a start. That means He will be in State detention on a life sentence renewed every year whilst being Cared for by his Unpaid Family Carers of Last resort for 168 hours a week, That's my Problem. I need a HR barrister. legal aid or Pro bono.
My first impression. Although it is almost impossible not to react. Do not provide consequences for Bad behaviour.
He may find the bizzare behavior that others react to these actions. The bizzare stimulation reaction he wanted. He may not even be aware of it. I can only speak from my own son's.actions. - I will not state them in case Autistic people able to comprhend this may want to push their behavior envelope a bit further.
Something happened to trigger it. Some how your son felt threatened. by perhaps normal kids, even much younger than him. Putting him with other children is the problem. He may be happier completely on his own.
Babies at the far end of a large shop frighten my son. He cannot interact with any one. That what autism is in its worst form. His fingers in his ears. You may have to keep him away from contact with others, or their parents who may perceive him to be a danger and may be a threat to him.
You cannot stop his behaviour, He will lose friends, So will you. You are right if you feel he is unsafe with a younger sibling. He cannot be cured. as he grow older he may become easier to manage.
My advice is to insist that you get help from Your Council. See your Doctor first. He/she will contact them if you ask him/her. I presume you had a specialist Doctor make your sons' diagnosis, if not get one.- don't accept what the Council label him with.. to tick a box. My son's was diagosed by a team at a childrens Hospital.
Hi NAS38972
I'm really shocked to hear about what may happen to your son. I didn't even realise such a thing COULD happen. Wishing you lots of luck in your search for legal help. Please let us know what happens? Sending you love and best wishes.
Hi NAS3884
Any handicapped person child or other wise that cannot be left alone because of the danger to themselves or to others needs by definition very close support to prevent it.
In a family setting this is usuall done at home or in a car as a passenger, preferrably with a person Unpaid Family Carer of last Resort or a paid Carer sitting with him in the back. to stop him hitting the Driver, or tries to escape. if you stop for any reason - hold ups aTraffic lights take a differen route etc. The Autistic person needs a predictable future. as to what is happening . This will be when we all as the parent cannot cope any longer perhaps on end of our life. He will have to stay in a safe Care Home. This could be one of the NAS Care homes, or other specialist places of Respite.That there is an increasing need for as was the original reason for setting up the NAS with Lorna Wing and others. This is the Need for the severely autistic person,. Who can look after them safely without abuse, so that the autistic person is to be happy with the minimum of drugs so as not to be zombies with a chemical cosh, and shoved anywhere in their adult life and when they become old that the local Council who will have to fund it They will do their utmost to avoid paying this. My own case My Council suddenly withheld my funding over 3years and 9 months ago saving them selves so far about £100k although I managed to get respite payments. Today being autistic is claimed to be almost like a lifestile.
It is a very serious and devastating handicap.not only for the person, but their family's life will be devastated.
The altenative is to let the Councils take over and they all cry we have no money. about 25 years ago I managed eventually after man years to get Maximum disability benefit with back dating for my autistic son and the Blue Badge that went with it for a Physical disability, Being autistic as not a mental illness. Not long afterwards the State then declared being autistic got a lower benefit without a Blue Badge,. Today After 3 months of hard work I got My son a PIP score of 47 including 12 points for Blue Badge disability, I could have appealed to more points on the Understanding of Complicated understandings which should have beem maximum, but at 47 any more would be pointless unless he was taken to Court and was said to be capable of understanding the process. .