New and Needs Advice Please

I've found it quite difficult to talk about until recently, but I now have a friend who is also on the spectrum and she's helped me become more comfortable with it.  But because I'm not used to talking about it, I may well forget things when I'm explaining how it affects me, so I may end up adding to this later... I struggle with eye contact, and I do talk too loud at times and hate it when people expect to talk in what to me are whispers... I get wound up easily and can't take any teasing and this was a major issue at school but not so much now when I'm almost entirely around other adults... I find social situations difficult, mainly because I find it hard to sit/stand and talk about things that don't interest me... I find it really hard to sit still for long and my mum and dad yell at me for walking up and down in my room.  I don't like having a plan for a day and then having to change it without much warning - this is difficult at work sometimes when I go in expecting to do certain jobs and then have to do something else, although I'm working on trying to be more relaxed about it.  I find phonecalls difficult, mainly because I hate not knowing what to expect - I manage okay-ish taking incoming phonecalls at work but still struggle with making outgoing calls and I try to avoid using the phone at home unless absolutely unavoidable.  I struggle with being able to cry - I can cry over a book or TV programme when they're sad, but otherwise I find I often can't cry when I want to, although thankfully this hasn't affected me when people close to me have died, but I can remember when I knew my Nan didn't have long to live - I was 17 at the time - I was terrified I wouldn't be able to cry, and was hugely relieved that I was able to cry when she died.  I do find I click my fingers a fair bit, although this tends to happen more when I'm alone, although not entirely because mum does pick me up on it sometimes.  I do have my pronounced interests - history and sport, particularly motorsport, but I do know people, especially in the case of the latter, who are as into it as I am who aren't on the spectrum, so it's not the depth of my interest that is related to my Aspergers, it's the fact that I don't have many interests.  I tend to hesitate and put things off when I'm not sure what I'm doing as I'm worried about getting stuff wrong.

As I said, I may have missed things - one day I need to sit down and make a comprehensive list because I do want to be able to talk about this and it not all come out in a huge and possibly incomplete rush.

In terms of how it's affected me... at school, I was always pretty good academically, and although there were some things that weren't perfect - my idea of notetaking was to copy entire sections out of the textbook, and in science classes I would often wait until the teacher went through the answers for an activity to write anything down, so I was sure my notes were right - I was usually happy with my schoolwork, helped by the fact that I had a really great memory, especially for factual stuff, that meant that even for my GCSEs, I only had to read through my books once on the night before my exams.  I got 9 GCSEs - 5 As, 2 Bs, and 2 Cs, and the equivalent of three A Levels (one subject was a double award) - a B and a CC.

Socially, school was a nightmare.  I have one friend from school who I've kept in touch with, but that's it.  I have other friends - mostly made through motorsport groups on the web after I left school - but I was so glad to leave school.  I was at a good school, and they did try, but the fact that the teasing was such low level made it difficult for them to get really stern with the culprits.

It took me a long time for me to get a job - 18 months after leaving school - but during that time I did voluntary work which really helped me, and eventually I did find a job.  It's part time but my hours increased when the company expanded and hopefully will increase again as the company continues to expand.  I've been there for over three years and my colleagues are wonderful and really understanding.

Although I've got involved with some activities now socially - church and a history group - the people are older than me, and I wish I could mix more with people my own age, but I'm not really sure where to start.

On the positive side, however, I am able to manage by myself to do a lot of things - although I still live at home because I don't earn enough at the moment to leave, I am able to go on trips by myself and have been on holiday to London by myself twice.

I realise that I've probably written more of the negatives here than the positives, but when I talk about my Aspergers and how it affects me, that's what I end up listing, and the many ways I'm NOT different end up getting omitted... I am a lot closer to "neuro-typical" (I love this phrase, another thing to thank my friend who I mentioned at the beginning for because having to use "normal" for non-spectrum people made me really uncomfortable, because I hated thinking of myself as not normal) than I am to the more severe end of the spectrum.

Sorry for rambling - that's another couple of things to add to the list - I don't always organise my thoughts very well, and when I start talking I can sometimes go on for ages and end up quite a way from the original topic!

I think you've done the right thing about telling him - the foundations have been laid, which is good.  I'm adopted, and I've always known that, and then my parents told me more at an age appropriate level; as I got older, and answered any questions I had.  I'm sure your son knows he can ask you when he needs to, and I'm sure as he gets a little older he'll get to the point when he wants to know more.  Or maybe that's how girls brains work and boys are different.

Sorry for the length of this...

I've found it quite difficult to talk about until recently, but I now have a friend who is also on the spectrum and she's helped me become more comfortable with it.  But because I'm not used to talking about it, I may well forget things when I'm explaining how it affects me, so I may end up adding to this later... I struggle with eye contact, and I do talk too loud at times and hate it when people expect to talk in what to me are whispers... I get wound up easily and can't take any teasing and this was a major issue at school but not so much now when I'm almost entirely around other adults... I find social situations difficult, mainly because I find it hard to sit/stand and talk about things that don't interest me... I find it really hard to sit still for long and my mum and dad yell at me for walking up and down in my room.  I don't like having a plan for a day and then having to change it without much warning - this is difficult at work sometimes when I go in expecting to do certain jobs and then have to do something else, although I'm working on trying to be more relaxed about it.  I find phonecalls difficult, mainly because I hate not knowing what to expect - I manage okay-ish taking incoming phonecalls at work but still struggle with making outgoing calls and I try to avoid using the phone at home unless absolutely unavoidable.  I struggle with being able to cry - I can cry over a book or TV programme when they're sad, but otherwise I find I often can't cry when I want to, although thankfully this hasn't affected me when people close to me have died, but I can remember when I knew my Nan didn't have long to live - I was 17 at the time - I was terrified I wouldn't be able to cry, and was hugely relieved that I was able to cry when she died.  I do find I click my fingers a fair bit, although this tends to happen more when I'm alone, although not entirely because mum does pick me up on it sometimes.  I do have my pronounced interests - history and sport, particularly motorsport, but I do know people, especially in the case of the latter, who are as into it as I am who aren't on the spectrum, so it's not the depth of my interest that is related to my Aspergers, it's the fact that I don't have many interests.  I tend to hesitate and put things off when I'm not sure what I'm doing as I'm worried about getting stuff wrong.

As I said, I may have missed things - one day I need to sit down and make a comprehensive list because I do want to be able to talk about this and it not all come out in a huge and possibly incomplete rush.

In terms of how it's affected me... at school, I was always pretty good academically, and although there were some things that weren't perfect - my idea of notetaking was to copy entire sections out of the textbook, and in science classes I would often wait until the teacher went through the answers for an activity to write anything down, so I was sure my notes were right - I was usually happy with my schoolwork, helped by the fact that I had a really great memory, especially for factual stuff, that meant that even for my GCSEs, I only had to read through my books once on the night before my exams.  I got 9 GCSEs - 5 As, 2 Bs, and 2 Cs, and the equivalent of three A Levels (one subject was a double award) - a B and a CC.

Socially, school was a nightmare.  I have one friend from school who I've kept in touch with, but that's it.  I have other friends - mostly made through motorsport groups on the web after I left school - but I was so glad to leave school.  I was at a good school, and they did try, but the fact that the teasing was such low level made it difficult for them to get really stern with the culprits.

It took me a long time for me to get a job - 18 months after leaving school - but during that time I did voluntary work which really helped me, and eventually I did find a job.  It's part time but my hours increased when the company expanded and hopefully will increase again as the company continues to expand.  I've been there for over three years and my colleagues are wonderful and really understanding.

Although I've got involved with some activities now socially - church and a history group - the people are older than me, and I wish I could mix more with people my own age, but I'm not really sure where to start.

On the positive side, however, I am able to manage by myself to do a lot of things - although I still live at home because I don't earn enough at the moment to leave, I am able to go on trips by myself and have been on holiday to London by myself twice.

I realise that I've probably written more of the negatives here than the positives, but when I talk about my Aspergers and how it affects me, that's what I end up listing, and the many ways I'm NOT different end up getting omitted... I am a lot closer to "neuro-typical" (I love this phrase, another thing to thank my friend who I mentioned at the beginning for because having to use "normal" for non-spectrum people made me really uncomfortable, because I hated thinking of myself as not normal) than I am to the more severe end of the spectrum.

Sorry for rambling - that's another couple of things to add to the list - I don't always organise my thoughts very well, and when I start talking I can sometimes go on for ages and end up quite a way from the original topic!

I think you've done the right thing about telling him - the foundations have been laid, which is good.  I'm adopted, and I've always known that, and then my parents told me more at an age appropriate level; as I got older, and answered any questions I had.  I'm sure your son knows he can ask you when he needs to, and I'm sure as he gets a little older he'll get to the point when he wants to know more.  Or maybe that's how girls brains work and boys are different.

Sorry for the length of this...