Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all
I'm new to all of this and thought this would be the best place to seek advice.
My son is 4 year old and since about the age of 2 1/2 has been having behavioural issues both at school and at home. Basically he goes from 0-10 with his anger. There are no visible triggers and no one can figure out what's happening. The educational psychologist believes that it's a reflex action because he has gotten away with the behaviour so long (at school might I add he doesn't get away with it at home and the majority of it is at school)
School/early help referred him to a speech and language therapist who has discovered nothing wrong with that but says he has autism.
Now this is out of the blue for me as my niece is autistic and we didn't see any of the usual signs. My son is verbal does share and play well with others. Has lots of friends does well in school. Yes he is very clever (too clever!!!)
Having said this he doesn't always look you in the eye and there are some loud noises he doesn't like. Here's where I have the issue.....it's so subjective . One day he will hate the noise of the Hoover the next day he's helping me one. One day he won't like music playing and the next he's the one turning it up.
In his speech and language assessment the lady said he was lining up cars (he was playing with a garage) yet when I watched him he was zooming all the cars around the ramps and then parking them in the spaces. He also got out a lot of sea animals and was telling the lady all about them.
Where is the line between normal behaviour and autistic behaviour? I didn't really understand why she stuck to that one point?
It doesn't help that my mum is over dramatisting his behaviours as soon as lining up toys was mentioned she jumped in with 'well he groups his dinosaurs' what actually happened was I was teaching him what a carnivore and a herbivore was and as I was explaining he put the carnivores on one side and herbivores on the other. He did it once. Just once and has never done it since.
So I don't know what to do. I don't believe he is autistic but I also know I would probably be the last one to see it. Like I said before there are some points that fit but are subjective. Is that normal? I feel like because I disagree with my mum/the school/ speech therapist they're treating me as though I'm freaking out. We're just waiting on his assessment
I don't care if he's autistic I really don't . For me it isn't a big thing but there are some things that I think they're finding that aren't actually there? If that makes sense?
Sorry for the rant. I just feel a bit cornered by everyone at the minute.
P.s.
I need to point out that school and senco and his educational psychologist have all told me they also don't see the behaviours the speech and language therapist are saying. We looked into autism last year and CDC refused to see him then as they said there was no basis.
Hello and welcome.
Shaz287 said:Having said this he doesn't always look you in the eye and there are some loud noises he doesn't like. Here's where I have the issue.....it's so subjective . One day he will hate the noise of the Hoover the next day he's helping me one. One day he won't like music playing and the next he's the one turning it up.
Yes the 'dividing line' is subjective. I was diagnosed as an adult and questioned both the diagnosis and the people doing the diagnosis, and have now chosen to accept it. My behaviour is perfectly reasonable, I can apparently communicate and socialise and my quirks are part of me. Had it been a conclusion of a single professional that did not resonate and had I been able to explain all my problems otherwise, I would probably have dismissed it.
With third-hand remote autistic radar though... I'd share your scepticism. A few autistic people do tend to line things up, but it's a 'symptom' that to me feels like it's from decades before psychiatrists began to understand and now seems rather silly to base anything on. The only thing that makes me suspect you might be missing something is when you say:
Shaz287 said:too clever!
What do you mean by that exactly? What does he do?
It's not anything specific as such. He could probably read any dinosaur name as that's his latest craze but I'm pretty sure we about to move on to pj masks. The educational psychologist has said he is working above his age range at school which leads him to getting frustrated with his 15 minute lessons they do (he's only in foundation stage)
He's good with reading and writing and letters . Not particularly strong with numbers. His imagination is very vivid. We just have outbursts that lead to hitting and throwing. Especially at school for no apparent reason . Psychologist believes it's because of his intelligence and getting frustrated. Teachers believe it's just a stage he will grow out of as it just happened/started overnight when he was about two.
Don't get me wrong I feel like there's something going on with him but I just feel like the assessor had made up her mind BEFORE she had even seen him.
I keep looking into things like Autism and adhd and he doesn't seem to fit anything. Now I'm hoping he isn't just naughty just st my wits end.
It would be really useful if you could be sure of the reasons for the outbursts/meltdowns. Maybe it's boredom, or anxiety, or could it be something sensory?
I had most of my problems at school put down to being 'too intelligent'. Mind you, that was several decades ago.
Myself the teacher and the educational psychologist can't pinpoint the exact reason. I don't think it's sensory as it's too random. But maybe I'm missing something? Its usually around things not going his own way or when he's being told off . But apparently this isnt a trigger? So says speech and language.
School are quite good with dealing with him as distraction is the key.
The old nursery staff had him tantruming for HOURS but he's got a lot better since going to a proper school with kids his own age.