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PLEASE - Son diagnosed autistic 14 now struggling re statement

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My son was diagnosed autistic in May 12 aged 14. I pushed for this after many years of problems. He has never been picked up in school - - - long story and now we have so much ground to make up.

This is a very late diagnosis and his education to date has been nothing less than a torment and frustration to him.... now we know why. My son is below average in all subjects and considerably below in others - though he is intelligent and capable in other settings. Further my son refuses school and sometimes walks out. He is not badly behaved he is simply unable to manage. His experiences of education to date are poor, he recieves repeated negatiuve feedback, is often called lazy, manipulative and stubborn. 

My question is do I push for a statement? 

I have requested the SENCO at school refer my son for statement though I cannot help feeling she is being obstructive. She has written that staementing process is very different these days and school can meet most childrens needs within budget etc. She has questioned my son's diagnosis in both her emails, asking who did it, when etc. It is clear she thinks I have told lies???? I have no idea what the agenda is here...

Why do I want a statement:

Because my son is going into year 10 in Sept and only has 2 years of formal education left.

He has a great deal to make up and it is clear he has a range of difficulties thriving or making progress in his everyday school environment without more help. 

Although school have been helpful nothing seems joined up or focused. My sons low moral, underachievement etc are evidence that they are not aware of his specific needs & nor are there any specific targeted plans to help him. 

Maybe, just maybe, if my son has a thourough assessment and an education plan tailored to his needs + support then he might experience the joy of education that many of his peers enjoy. Maybe his new experiences will influence his future choices about further education and most importantly improve his life chances in the long run. 

I would love to know what other people think... Time is of the eccence and I have nobody objective with knowledge of this area to bounce off.

Any information is better than nothing

Thanks Thanks 

Parents

  • Hi,

    Do you know what?  I think school is part of the problem.  Our kids find the school environment particularly difficult because of their many hypersensitivities.  When your child refuses to go to school, there is a good reason.  We all hate to go into environments which cause us discomfort, and for our special children there are many such environments, and school is a major one.

    I've met so many parents who have moved their children from school to school in search of the right environment, without success.  You said yourself that your child is intelligent and capable, and I'm sure you're right.  However, if his energies are focused on surviving, he will have little brain focus left for learning, hence his underperformance.

    Sadly, so many schools do not understand this, and even with a statement and the support of a TA, unless he is lucky enough to have one of the super special sensitive ones that do exist, nothing significant is likely to change for him.

    If you want things to change, you have to do something different.  Of course, your choices will depend entirely on your personal circumstances.  I would recommend exploring your local home education community.  An on-line search should yield some contact details.  There are plenty of kids in this country who are not in school, and receive a very satisfactory education outside the system, based in an environment where they are loved and accepted, and who can make friendships and have social contacts at a level they are comfortable with outside the home.  Being in society does not make you sociable - a fact which too few educationalists seem to realise.

    I do wish you all the best.  Remember, you know your child and his needs better than anyone, except him.  I would encourage you to make a positive choice for his future, rather than just accepting what is offered.

     

Reply

  • Hi,

    Do you know what?  I think school is part of the problem.  Our kids find the school environment particularly difficult because of their many hypersensitivities.  When your child refuses to go to school, there is a good reason.  We all hate to go into environments which cause us discomfort, and for our special children there are many such environments, and school is a major one.

    I've met so many parents who have moved their children from school to school in search of the right environment, without success.  You said yourself that your child is intelligent and capable, and I'm sure you're right.  However, if his energies are focused on surviving, he will have little brain focus left for learning, hence his underperformance.

    Sadly, so many schools do not understand this, and even with a statement and the support of a TA, unless he is lucky enough to have one of the super special sensitive ones that do exist, nothing significant is likely to change for him.

    If you want things to change, you have to do something different.  Of course, your choices will depend entirely on your personal circumstances.  I would recommend exploring your local home education community.  An on-line search should yield some contact details.  There are plenty of kids in this country who are not in school, and receive a very satisfactory education outside the system, based in an environment where they are loved and accepted, and who can make friendships and have social contacts at a level they are comfortable with outside the home.  Being in society does not make you sociable - a fact which too few educationalists seem to realise.

    I do wish you all the best.  Remember, you know your child and his needs better than anyone, except him.  I would encourage you to make a positive choice for his future, rather than just accepting what is offered.

     

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