A level disaffection

Have you spoken with your son about why he isn’t revising for his exams and appears ‘tuned out’? For example: he may not see the point of the A Levels, he may not enjoy the subject matter, he may not enjoy the study environment, he may have a fear of failure so rather not try etc. You know him best, so think about if the issue is laziness of anxiety and then that will help you to consider how to address it.

It’s important to find out what the issues are and what your son wants for his future before you can work on moving forwards. If you know the goal then it’s often easier to find a path to it. Try to encourage career paths from your son’s interests. His exams are very close, yes, but even if he was to fail them due to his lack of interest then all is not lost - they can be retaken or alternative routes to employment can be taken. And if he passes, he still needs to know what he is going to do next.

Transition into adulthood is hard for all of us, but can be particularly challenging for those with added difficulties such as ASD. Perhaps it is the pressure of all this that is leading your son to retreat to something he finds enjoyable/comforting i.e. his gaming. I can only recommend keeping communication open and offering your support with moving forwards in his life, but do make your expectations clear too (such as he must take further education or make some attempt to get employment - whatever you expect of him). After all, no matter how hard the transition into adulthood is, it’s rarely acceptable for a young adult to remain living at home with their parents playing games all day long and making no attempt to progress their life (which is why my mother forced my brother out of our house when he was 17. It did him good though in the end - he soon got a job and has lived independently ever since - sometimes tough love is needed).

Have you spoken with your son about why he isn’t revising for his exams and appears ‘tuned out’? For example: he may not see the point of the A Levels, he may not enjoy the subject matter, he may not enjoy the study environment, he may have a fear of failure so rather not try etc. You know him best, so think about if the issue is laziness of anxiety and then that will help you to consider how to address it.

It’s important to find out what the issues are and what your son wants for his future before you can work on moving forwards. If you know the goal then it’s often easier to find a path to it. Try to encourage career paths from your son’s interests. His exams are very close, yes, but even if he was to fail them due to his lack of interest then all is not lost - they can be retaken or alternative routes to employment can be taken. And if he passes, he still needs to know what he is going to do next.

Transition into adulthood is hard for all of us, but can be particularly challenging for those with added difficulties such as ASD. Perhaps it is the pressure of all this that is leading your son to retreat to something he finds enjoyable/comforting i.e. his gaming. I can only recommend keeping communication open and offering your support with moving forwards in his life, but do make your expectations clear too (such as he must take further education or make some attempt to get employment - whatever you expect of him). After all, no matter how hard the transition into adulthood is, it’s rarely acceptable for a young adult to remain living at home with their parents playing games all day long and making no attempt to progress their life (which is why my mother forced my brother out of our house when he was 17. It did him good though in the end - he soon got a job and has lived independently ever since - sometimes tough love is needed).