Tried different approach - not worked :-(

OK, so after last weeks violent incident thought we'd try something else.Son was banned from his PC and mobile but it didn't seem to do any good - he was even sneaking back on.

Apart from that hes been pretty good the last week, and is finally making an effort with some of the charts the counsellor has asked him to fill out. Not brilliant but its a start. So we decided to try a difference approach.

We sat him down and made sure he understood. We praised him that things had improved and he was trying and also for his behaviour. We said there are stil things to improve on  but we were willing to give him a chance.

We said, he can have his phone back, and have 3 hours a day on his PC.

BUT, and we wrote this down there were some basic rules which he agreed were fair. We said if rules were broken then PC/mobile would be removed for at time again. He moaned a bit about the 3 hour limit but agreed he understood and it was fair.

These included:-

- Mobile stays downstairs at night to resist the temptation of playing games after hes supposed to be in bed.

- He continues with the forms and also reads the books we've bought him.

- No attempting to "forget" how long hes been on PC and exceeding the time

- No sneakily attempting to use mobile/PC after hes gone to bed in the middle of night.

Guess what - less than 24 hours later wife goes upstaris at midnight. Hes in bed playing games on his phone. I just don;t understand how he thinks hes going to get away with it.

Please someone tell me if the approach is right or wrong?

Parents
  • You said that your son "has been pretty good the last week", "finally making an effort", "it's a start", and you mention that he's finally on board with the charts from his counsellor - so why choose now to "try a different approach"? 

    Wouldn't it be a good idea to let these new behaviours settle in, become the norm, and THEN move to the next step? Give him a chance to be a success for a while before putting more challenges in the way? Rome wasn't built in a day! It's not so much a matter of anything being "wrong" with your new approach but it's looking a bit like just because he gave an inch you've decided to take a mile. 

Reply
  • You said that your son "has been pretty good the last week", "finally making an effort", "it's a start", and you mention that he's finally on board with the charts from his counsellor - so why choose now to "try a different approach"? 

    Wouldn't it be a good idea to let these new behaviours settle in, become the norm, and THEN move to the next step? Give him a chance to be a success for a while before putting more challenges in the way? Rome wasn't built in a day! It's not so much a matter of anything being "wrong" with your new approach but it's looking a bit like just because he gave an inch you've decided to take a mile. 

Children