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pdd-nos & adhd - Newbie needing help

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Hi,  Our child to be honest has always been a complete hand ful, so nothing is new there, However he has completeley taken over everything we ever loved, days out, holidays, meals out. 

We try so hard to keep him happy and on a level completely all the time, that now there is nothing left for us. and its starting to take its toll.

How do you get the balance right, how do you get a space for yourself, 

We have become if I'm honest a bit resentful, but just saying that makes me feel guilty and tearful.    

We have had adhd diagnosis for some time, but only recently have they said pdd-nos,  There is no support groups available for months, and now all that I learnt about adhd is confused and I'm not sure what to do.  

Any tips, anybody with same diagnosis that could give me some guidance.

  • I've just come on here as another newbie and could easily have written the above post!

    Our son has had ADD diagnosis since he was 7ish and just recently had PDD - NOS diagnosis, hence the name Double D as this seems to be the linking initials!

    I had to give up work, so really do get the resentful feeling, especially when he accuses me of 'doing nothing all day'

    Things that have helped us

    Seeing I have some 'me time'

    Researching for myself what ADD, PDD means

    Grandparents who support us,even when they don't totally get it

    Talking to other parents, not the ones at the school gate!

    Sport - our son is very sporty and having outdoor sports has helped

    Meds for ADD - first set were a nightmare, but now on different medication and sooo much better

    Support from CAMHS who understood that he doesn't have just one condition!

    Support from school & 25 hour Statement

    DLA

    Life is still not easy and I say my job starts at 3.30pm and finishes at 8.45am! And I've had to battle professionals at every turn to get support

    But knowing I'm not alone really helps me too.

  • hi count to 10

    i completely know how you are feeling when you say you feel a little resentful. i feel like that too, then it just eats me up inside for just thinking it. 

    we try hard to have holidays and days out but these are normally planned well in advance and it would have given me a chance to brace myself and plan things, plan a b, c ect...  I seem to find that planning in advance helps the boys behave better, but only if its something they want to do. going out for a meal is always a disaster. 

    every thing has become an effort that we very rearly go out socially with the children and a babysiter is non excistent. 

    i came here looking for the same answers you have but thought i would share this with you. 

    also bedtime every single night is a mission and so stressful and looking for advice on that too 

    xx