Asd assessment due soon but son won’t leave the house.

Hello, I’ve just joined. I’m currently looking into alternative options for my 13 year old son’s education. He has not attended school for the vast majority of this academic year (yr9) and has not left the house at all for months. He says he feels sick all the time but won’t give any other reason. School have been involved ..at the beginning trying to coax him back in, then referred to children’s services / social worker and “ intensive family support services”  none of which are doing anything . He is classed as a “child in need” . The latest is they want us to go to court and get an ‘education supervision order which basically- as far as I know - puts an allocated officer in charge of getting him into school or looking at different options for him but if not complied with we end up prosecuted.

i believe this has all happened as he did not receive adequate support in school. He does not have a diagnosis as it’s taken years and years for anyone to listen to me and refer him. He is known for having sensory processing issues and being anxious but was quiet and well behaved in school. He sometimes loses it at home and bangs his head on the walls/throws things/ shouts and swears at us / melts down / cries / bites himself etc. However as he only does this at home they seem to think it’s parents fault. We have for years avoided family outings as he would get stressed and run away from certain noises /situations and even a few times try to jump out of the car window. He couldn’t deal with the cinema or restaurants.

‘So now, finally he was referred a year ago and been on the waiting list for asd assessment , but when he was referred he was in school and functioning better, but now I can’t get him to agree to come out - I’ve started this week trying the idea of telling him we are not going to try and get him to go to school anymore and am considering home education to see if this takes the pressure off him and make him feel more comfortable with coming out but not sure that will work or how long it will take . 

‘I’m really stressed and worried that this assessment we have been waiting for /fighting for for years will end up not happening because we won’t be able to get him there. He is at the top of the list and it will be in the next month or so. 

CAMHS have not been involved but I’ve also recently got a referral for him to them and they have agreed to do an initial assessment at our home. I’ve recently spoken (only once) to a helpful lady at SENDIASS who seems to understand the situation it not sure what else she can offer in the way of support . 

I dont know what advice anyone might be able to give but I really feel the need for support at the moment and am not getting in from the people who are supposed to help. All I feel is the worry of prosecution and further children’s services involvement / child protection and I’m scared .

Parents
  • I’m currently looking into alternative options for my 13 year old son’s education

    SENDIASS sounds positive.  Keeping my fingers crossed for you.  Sounds like you are all having a really tough time.

    The NAS has a page on Education Rights: http://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/education-rights.aspx

    You might also want to have a look at IPSEA (Independent Parental Special Education Advice)https://www.ipsea.org.uk/

    If you just need to talk, then this forum is great. 

    The NAS also have a Helpline number you can call: 0808 800 4104 from 10-4 mon-thu and 9-3 fri. 

    Unless you de-register your child to Home-Educate (which I would not recommend doing lightly...I did do this to GCSE level...your child's education becomes totally your responsibility & cost) it is legally the local authority's responsibility to be providing an adequate & suitable education for your child.

    From Yr 10, don't forget a vocational BTEC at a local FE college might be an option? There are some brilliant courses in animal care and all sorts of things available but you'd need to do your research.  Does your son have a yr9 transition/review coming up so you might be able to investigate this together to try to get him interested? 

    I don't know if this is any help but there was a thread on the forum the other day about Internet Schools and correspondence courses. There are some reviews here about internet schools and the quality of correspondence courses: http://he-exams.wikia.com/wiki/CorrespondenceCourses  I responded to it but can't remember what it was called.

    If you do decide to Home-Educate, this forum 'HE-UK-Special' is an amazing support for people who are educating children with various additional needs and medical conditions: http://www.he-special.org.uk/content/joinhere.php

    Fingers crossed

  • Thanks !!!! I will check those out now ! :) 

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