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advise needed for shopping outbursts!

pinkydinkydo

Any advise please!? My little boy is currently having screaming paddys that he must have two toys when shopping.  When we say he can choose one toy e.g. a matchbox car, he can not decide on one and chooses two or three and screams the shop down, with streaming tears.  Today after this happened in Tescos I said if he could not choose one we would have to leave the shop, which we did, but he was still telling me we forgot the car as he was falling asleep tonight! 

Very new diagnosis to Autism by the way and not really sure if he just isn't able to understand or dosn't want to understand?

Parents

  • Hi pinkydinkdo,

    You need to be really careful with this kind of behaviour - it can be because we, on the spectrum, don't, or rather find it difficult to, understand, but it can be pure emotional blackmail - if your son has learnt that 'cause a fuss' = 'an extra toy' he will just cause a fuss to get an extra toy!

    You need to set clear and consistent boundaries - so either he always gets two toys, or he always gets one, or he always gets none - unless there's a very clear, and again consistent, and pre-explained reason for that changing.

    So, for example you may wish to get him an extra toy because he's behaved well - which is a good strategy for rewarding good behaviour - but you need to make it clear from the very outset that good behaviour = extra toy.

    Hope this helps.

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  • Hi pinkydinkdo,

    You need to be really careful with this kind of behaviour - it can be because we, on the spectrum, don't, or rather find it difficult to, understand, but it can be pure emotional blackmail - if your son has learnt that 'cause a fuss' = 'an extra toy' he will just cause a fuss to get an extra toy!

    You need to set clear and consistent boundaries - so either he always gets two toys, or he always gets one, or he always gets none - unless there's a very clear, and again consistent, and pre-explained reason for that changing.

    So, for example you may wish to get him an extra toy because he's behaved well - which is a good strategy for rewarding good behaviour - but you need to make it clear from the very outset that good behaviour = extra toy.

    Hope this helps.

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