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Done with school

struggling mum
over 6 years ago

Hello, 

My 14yo with Asperger's hates school and the more interaction I have with them the harder it is not to see why. His in a unit within mainstream and passionately hates being in a unit or having any support. Several incidents some of which my son hasn't helped and others where the school hasn't dealt with bullying or outright discriminated against him. I've had meetings, discussions the lot and nothings improved. He has a year and a few months before finishing.

I've tried to encourage him to stick it out as it's such an important time in respect of his education but now not so sure.

Trouble is feel there is no solution. If he stays, how well can he learn when his so angry and upset? Main issue is him 'being in the unit' having support follow him around and other students calling him derogatory names. If he goes to another school it will be a big upheaval for him requiring using public transport and not having his current convenience of a 5minute walk. He also won't have support which is 100% what he wants but I'm worried he'd struggle.

School has become such a source of stress for both him and I for a long time now that I'm at the point I want nothing further to do with them.

Any thoughts or words of wisdom would be very much appreciated.

  1. Thank you.
Parents
  • over 6 years ago

    Somehow it sounds like the support they offer him is more what they (or others) decided he needs (or perhaps even some kind of one-fits-all solution) rather than what he actually needs. How would you expect a student who has someone following them around for being "not quite normal in his head" not to be bullied? There will always be bullies around and this kind of support can quite easily make kids like your son a feast for them instead of protecting them. And hating it, he will not even really benefit from the help that would be benefitial. Perhaps they can reconsider how to help him in a way that does actually help rather than making him more vulnerable? Something that is based on what he wants (and reviewing it regularly so that he can try how it works without the support he doesn't find supportive at all). Maybe it's too late already to fix this, but it may be worth trying if feeling like he is in control of it somehow improves things a bit?

Reply
  • over 6 years ago

    Somehow it sounds like the support they offer him is more what they (or others) decided he needs (or perhaps even some kind of one-fits-all solution) rather than what he actually needs. How would you expect a student who has someone following them around for being "not quite normal in his head" not to be bullied? There will always be bullies around and this kind of support can quite easily make kids like your son a feast for them instead of protecting them. And hating it, he will not even really benefit from the help that would be benefitial. Perhaps they can reconsider how to help him in a way that does actually help rather than making him more vulnerable? Something that is based on what he wants (and reviewing it regularly so that he can try how it works without the support he doesn't find supportive at all). Maybe it's too late already to fix this, but it may be worth trying if feeling like he is in control of it somehow improves things a bit?

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