Published on 12, July, 2020
Not impressed I must admit but thats my son to a tee. Goes with the flow, expects things to bend the way he wants etc and will make zero effort to help himself.
We've spent over £500 on private consultant appointments to get him seen and presribed medication. Found out for the last 10 days hes "forgotten" to take it.
Hes almost 15 - I'm absolately bomping mad with him. Surely, at 14/15 he should be able to know the importance of it?
With quotes like "Absolute rubbish“ and “pathetic“ when someone offers their opinion and tries to help, and with other comments in that same post, I can see why your son might not be communicating much on this.
You seem to have a very know-it-all attitude. That's bad enough when talking to adults on this forum, but will be worse for your son. He's 14. 14 year olds aren't known for being particularly good at forward planning or understanding the complexities of medical care.
" Absolute rubbish" was in response to a comment from the poster which has no basis in fact. Advising that someone should stop taking meds because the side effects are too bad without the involvement of a qualified health professional is not clever. We should not be condoning this on a forum.
"Pathetic" was my response to the same posters inference that I was looking after myself which IMHO was out of order. No-one knows in details my family situation or how things are.
There really is no need for this them and us attitude.
Neither, would I suggest is personal comments about what you consider my attitude to be.
Nobody advised that he should stop taking meds because of the side effects. I think Taltunes was just saying that your son might be experiencing unpleasant side effects of the medication and that is perhaps why he would stop taking the meds. You have have posted several times about how your son seems immature and doesn't always do what you think is right or logical, so why is it so surprising that instead of discussing the side effects with you and asking to go back to have another appointment with the person who prescribed the meds, he simply stops taking the meds? If he doesn't like going to the clinic, that would be a good reason for not taking what you see as the logical course of action. Also, he might be a little afraid of how you would react if he doesn't do what you think he should (i.e. just take the meds and keep quiet about it).
Your son stoppped taking the meds, so maybe they aren't making him feel better. Since that's what they are meant for, the only logical conclusion I can make about your reaction is that, yes, you are wanting him to take the meds for your own purposes. You don't have a "normal" kid, and meds aren't going to make him normal. I bet the best thing you can do for your son is to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. Perhaps then he'll want to spend time with you and the rest of the family instead of shut in his room in his own little world.
I did not say anything about how they should stop taking meds - you may have read it as without the involvement of a qualified health professional but I did not say it.
I also made my original comment before you mentioned your daughter or the fact that your son is being violent towards her and I would like to think that I would have answered very differently, if at all, if you had mentioned that in your original post.
Well, I'm sure you would have had very different responses had you simply written on the post "I would like a phone number for an official helpline", which I assume now is all you wanted since you've called the moderator's a 'decent reply'.However, when you posted on the forum it was somewhat assumed that you would want opinions and thoughts as well as the 'stock response'.
The fact is that you are quite aggressive in the way you type, and you seem to have a low opinion of your son. He's just 14 years old but you've made claims including: "Not impressed I must admit but that's my son to a tee." and "If you just sit in the corner and refuse to let people help you or listen to PROFESSIONAL advice then that's not going to work."
Remember that he is still just a child. Yet, you are expecting him to have very high levels of communication skills (hard enough for any teenager, let alone one on the spectrum) and to use these to discuss what can be quite a complex medical topic. It sounds like you are controlling the professionals he sees and are very involved in what medication he is expected to take, but expect him to be enthusiastic about it all despite him probably not having much of a say in any of it.
Now, we on the forum don't know the intricacies of your family life or why you've made the decisions you have, but the fact remains that you do, frankly, speak to people like they're far lesser beings and like you know it all - and your son probably has to deal with this kind of attitude on a fairly regular basis which certainly won't be helping with his ability to communicate about a very difficult and sensitive topic.
Also bear in mind that this may just be forgetfulness on his part, so getting angry and saying 'this is him to a tee' is putting unnecessary blame on him for something that can't be helped.