Published on 12, July, 2020
we have a 6 year old boy who we think could be a little autistic. We also think ADHD is a possibility as I myself have a diagnosis for it.
As you will all no doubt know getting assessed on the nhs is a very long wait and I am considering private. However some say that private assessment is not as thorough as NHS. Any thoughts?
Does anyone have advise on how to deal with my son as he:
1. Doesn't have friends
2. He cries over trivial matters;
3. He gets very scared over things like witches, ghosts (even on cartoons);
4. He stores up resentment over trivial things such as his sister kicking his ball in the park a month ago.
5. School say he is not paying attention in class and is falling behind.
These are just a few things.
Can anyone suggest a positive course of action?
Many thanks
He is very lucky to have parents like you, willing to investigate.
If he is, there is hope for him after a diagnose. (but keep an open mind, the testing is very wide, IQ, Theory of Mind, ...)
I just had a discussion with my wife. I'm 45. I told her straight in her face that I see it in front of me that my brother in law (67) would have an affair with her (50). She told me very assertively that she feels very insulted. I apologized. I told her I so wish I could properly dismiss these thoughts. Five minutes later she came back in and we talked it through. The root cause why I said it is a very long story.
A year ago this would have taken two weeks to heal. For some couples, I assume (I can't be sure), it would lead to divorce... so you can guide him, advise fitting career choices, patience is important, but believe me, it seeps through when you explain something.
MDC; What a good answer. Can you clarify for whom it may have taken years to heal? You or your wife? I'm wondering because despite understanding where some rather unvarnished things my own 62 yr old spouse with AS says come from - not intentional insults or diminishment - he doesn't respond at all like you did when I might say I'm hurt or insulted & simply won't talk. Instead he follows up with what I can only describe as verbal attack - sometimes straightforward, often passive-aggressive as in sulking, sideways comments about my character or a "martyr" routine. He can keep up the aftermath for days & days. It doesn't help anyone for me to simply remain mute all the time, which he seems to prefer. Any suggestions for me to help him talk over unintentional hurtful words with me & avoid the deliberately hurtful after math as you seem to have accomplished? He was diagnosed 8 years ago & while he says he understands & accepts the dx, refuses any counseling, reading, research or assistance at all. Have any suggestions for helping him hear rather than lashing out?
I set her free. I helped her get her driving license. My mother told me not to be jealous, she's very specific about that (verbatim)... But still I beat my wife a year ago. She tells me I snapped, she tells me I wasn't myself... it was clear It wasn't a sadistic action to subdue her...
How can NT-people accept this (he wasn't himself) without asking the obvious question 'who was he in stead'... It still baffles me.
Who was he instead? That set me chuckling. No, i think you were yourself without a way to cope MDC. Complicated business autism. Fortunately for me, my spouse does not cope with his fists & he & my daughter both are aware of the deadly anger & anxiety their ASD can provoke. Even w/out a diagnosis for 54 yrs hubby got that & set himself at a young age to learn & practice things like yoga, meditation, music & for hubby, the arts. Daughter is less well versed at expressing & managing that anxiety somehow, but is learning that for her, becoming immersed in the outdoors is a big help. It's not always obvious what helps, but creativity or regular hard physical exercise can be an answer for dealing w/the pressures that in autism, often remain unspoken & can come out unpredictably & violently otherwise. Our experience anyhow.