Hi all
I joined the site fairly recently and posted about my younger son who's been referred to CAMHS, hopefully for assessment for ASD. There's apparently a 5 month wait for first appointment, assuming we're not just rejected outright.
However, it's my eldest who's bothering me most now! He's not diagnosed but we have always felt that he showed a lot of ASD traits (love of routine, obsessive interests, sensitivity to noises and smells, problems with social interaction/friendships/appropriate communication.... and the good stuff too of course).
Having been 'academically more able' since he reached high school, he did well but not as fantastically as predicted in his GCSEs this year. But he's just doing appallingly at A level so that I am fielding calls from school nearly every day (except this week where he's just not been in). He seems completely unable to study, to manage his workload and to work independently. He will lie and say he's done things and the only way I can check is by asking to see evidence. Anyway, it turns out he's barely submitted any homework in maths, and two of this other subjects, despite telling us repeatedly that he's up to date. The lying is not just about this, it's about absolutely everything and it's exhausting having to check every time that he's actually telling the truth.
He's been on beta blockers previously for anxiety/panic but came off them over the summer and doesn't want to go back on. His sleep's appalling (he got to sleep at 5am last night and was woken by his dad getting up at 6am!) which obviously makes concentrating hard but he just doesn't seem to be able to do it at all. He's also developed some tics, having always been a fidget.
He's absolutely unable to identify what emotion he's feeling, so tends to experience physical symptoms when stressed (I think this latest bout of illness may be due to parents' evening and reports this week, which we know will be awful). Previously it's been fairly apparent when he was getting stressed out because he would spend all day (and night) making lists of D&D equipment (even though he's not played the game!) but now he's not even doing that. He's pretty much just lying on his bed when he's at home at the moment.
Over the summer he did a 4 week National Citizen Service Programme, with people he didn't know, which astonished us. He seemed to do well at that and tried really hard but since then he's lapsed into his old ways.
I suppose I'm looking for suggestions as to how I can help him - though part of me wonders if he's taking advantage of my good nature, which doesn't help. And some insight from people who might have similar experiences and problems would also be good. At the moment I'm at my wits' end (I think part of the problem for both boys is that I've always worked a maximum of 3 days a week, mostly from home, and been their brains and organisation systems. I'm now working 4 days/week out of the house and it's more apparent how much they rely on me keeping track of everything. I'm also depressed at the moment and barely able to manage my own life!).
Sorry, I've rambled. But it helped to get it all out!
