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Having aspergers and children

Nadielou

hi, 

so ive just been diagnosed with Aspergers, and it's put a lot in perspective about my future. Children aren't really on my mind and never have been tbh and I'm still to young to think about such things (24) 

However it has had me question if I should consider having a child?

my first question is do I put my child at risk or having a higher chance of being on the autistic spectrum ? I no my life has been very difficult being on the spectrum even as a high functioning aspie. I'm insure if it would be fair to knowingly do that to my child especially as they could have a more severe case of autism ? 

Secondly, as an aspie parent could I cope with having a child and the challengers and disruption they bring?

would just like perspective from aspie parents, aspies who have opted out of children and neurotypical parents with children on the spectrum.

Parents

  • Hi,

    Neither my wife nor I knew that we had Asperger's when we first thought about having children, some 23 years ago.  Before we married, we had no plans for children, but my wife had a cholesterol test to give an indication if she also had my hyperlipidaemia gene (which she didn't).

    So many years later, we have two living teenager daughters (one only for a few weeks before she turns 20).  One is NT but with a HfASD partner, the other shows a few traits but not enough to seek a diagnosis - her partner is also seeking diagnosis!  Then there was the third child who acquired severe cerebal palsey at birth (quadraplegic, severe brain damage), for whom we made the decision - based on logic - not to continue treatment.

    Somehow our 2 remaining daughters have grown into nicely rounded individuals, both with high intellectual ability but both have decided to make their careers in the arts.

    There were times when they were little when my reactions to their behaviour was disproportional - especially if it interrupted me concentrating or their noise was too much.  They also got dragged along a lot to our obsessive interest hobby - one of them now hates it and avoids it like the plague (unless she's being paid to take 'photos of it) and the other is gently active on the fringes of it.

    It was scary bringing them up, and we both would have liked a detailed child operating instruction manual.  But they've turned out OK.

    Would we have had them if we'd known that we had Asperger's?  Almost certainly.

    It's hard work, though!

  • in reply to capers123

    Hi,

    My husband has Asperger syndrome and I have no formal diagnosis, but I certainly have traits.  Our eldest son has AS and our youngest has acquired the label, 'Social, Emotional and Mental Health' as his primary need on his Education, health and Care plan..

    I think we made mistakes but not due to autism or autistic traits, rather due to our initial lack of understanding of the condition. My husband was not diagnosed until approximately three years after our eldest son received his diagnosis.

    I think your insight into autism and your experience as an individual with autism will be a huge resource if you have children with autism or related conditions.

Reply
  • in reply to capers123

    Hi,

    My husband has Asperger syndrome and I have no formal diagnosis, but I certainly have traits.  Our eldest son has AS and our youngest has acquired the label, 'Social, Emotional and Mental Health' as his primary need on his Education, health and Care plan..

    I think we made mistakes but not due to autism or autistic traits, rather due to our initial lack of understanding of the condition. My husband was not diagnosed until approximately three years after our eldest son received his diagnosis.

    I think your insight into autism and your experience as an individual with autism will be a huge resource if you have children with autism or related conditions.

Children
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