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newbee looking for some advice...

Nikkinoodles29

my lovely boy is turning 4 in august, since he was born ive known something wasnt quite right. I had his eyes tested, his hearing, i spoke to countless gps and nothing - they told me until he was the age he is now, no one would assess him. I signed him up for a nursery in January, it didnt go well (although it started well) and after 3 days i had to tell them he wasnt going back. He has lots of autistic tendancies such as his obsessions, routines, facial expressions, not responding to his name being called, no sense of danger, no understanding of being good or naughty, he doesnt understand children are different ages and treats them all the same - he thinks he can hold their hands and stroke their hair like his baby cousin, his speech isnt fantastic and he uses his hands through conversations to 'sign' what hes talking about, he becomes extrememly upset if things arent done correctly, he has sensory issues with his hearing, sight, taste and touch. he loves being spun around, is constantly on the go from 5am til he collapses at 6pm. He doesnt sleep well, wont toilet train and is very funny with people and socialising. My sister was statemented with aspbergers last year aged 25 (my mums being trying to have her statemented since she was 2) and my cousin also has autism (shes about 11) I have been reffered to the peads, and have a 6 week course starting which focuses on behaviour and speech (im told its a stand in while i await the assessment with peads which can take upto 4 months before we get an appointment) ive read and spoke to lots of different people about their experiences, being a complete doh i thought it would only take a few months to see everyone, but i now know it can take years! i feel sooo sorry for my son, i feel like im constantly shouting at him because he doesnt listen, and is constantly doing everything he shouldnt be, i dont know if im heading completely down the wrong track, although im 99% sure im not. I just feel so bad for him, i dont know how to help him or where to take him to. I know no one can give me a straight answer, just looking for others to talk to with similar experiences xx

Parents

  • My son is 3. We adopted him from birth. My husband spotted the tendancies at 18 months (tip toe walking, stimming, obsessions with spoons and long handled cooking utensils which he would hold for hours, lack of speech and eye contact). We started speech and OT when he was 18months. We do not live in the UK but we are lucky to have an excellent school from nursery to high school which caters for all special children. We have just had our end of year review. The speech is still not there although he grunts and gestures for things he wants. He has started pinching and kicking. Thing is I feel so upset as the worst case scenario was laid out to me of what he could possible have to look forward to as an adult. I have been so miserable and upset for the past 2 days and am in denial. I think that any day he will wake up and everything will fall in to place and he'll start talking etc. I find I shout at him when he is doing things he shouldn't. He has no sense of danger and will hit the dogs and run away when we are out. When does it get easier? When will he start to listen and understand a little bit?

    I went though a list of forums when trying to get pregnant and the IVF route and Adoption which was a great succes. But now I am back on the forums. Life just doesn't seem fair. All you want is for a normal life for your children. Good job, happy marriage, kids for them but all of that now seems a long shot.

    Thanks for listening

    xxx

Reply

  • My son is 3. We adopted him from birth. My husband spotted the tendancies at 18 months (tip toe walking, stimming, obsessions with spoons and long handled cooking utensils which he would hold for hours, lack of speech and eye contact). We started speech and OT when he was 18months. We do not live in the UK but we are lucky to have an excellent school from nursery to high school which caters for all special children. We have just had our end of year review. The speech is still not there although he grunts and gestures for things he wants. He has started pinching and kicking. Thing is I feel so upset as the worst case scenario was laid out to me of what he could possible have to look forward to as an adult. I have been so miserable and upset for the past 2 days and am in denial. I think that any day he will wake up and everything will fall in to place and he'll start talking etc. I find I shout at him when he is doing things he shouldn't. He has no sense of danger and will hit the dogs and run away when we are out. When does it get easier? When will he start to listen and understand a little bit?

    I went though a list of forums when trying to get pregnant and the IVF route and Adoption which was a great succes. But now I am back on the forums. Life just doesn't seem fair. All you want is for a normal life for your children. Good job, happy marriage, kids for them but all of that now seems a long shot.

    Thanks for listening

    xxx

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