Agitation, anxiety and meltdowns

How do you guys deal with these in environments where you can't just walk off and have your alone time?

For example, in class, at work, on public transport, in a family gathering etc. I don't have any specific things in place to help me when I start feeling overwhelmed, and it tends to lead to crying meltdowns or lashing out at others, so I want to know what I could possibly do.

I know I start fidgeting a lot, doodle, pull at/break things etc. so I thought maybe a colouring book might help... but in these places I can't get away from the source of agitation (so might not really be able to sit there and colour, unless I inform others that it's my method of dealing with agitation/discomfort), and I'm not sure if I need to use something different for each place or what. 

Any and all feedback very welcome. 

  • Yh definitely, I want something specific that I can identify to do when everything starts, my class is small and my teachers have said to inform them of whatever helps me, so I could keep something a bit more obvious there, but like you said on the bus I'd keep to myself. A small fidget toy would help I think, I might use a colouring book to family gatherings because they all watch tv and I feel really awkward, I saw some people saying about diaries/journals but that's not something I would like

  • Tried something to fidget with that fits in your pocket? Or making some pattern with your foot (when sitting at a table nobody will notice) - something to focus on. Maybe don't try to stop it all but rather allow for things that are less problematic (like fidgeting a lot) and use them as a way to cope with the situation instead of seeing them as something you have to stop yourself from doing. Guess if you can inform others why you are doing anything they may find strange and their reaction is positive then that would probably help, also because they may be able to make the situation itself less overwhelming for you, but in most situations that's quite difficult to do, isn't it? It probably makes sense with people you spend a lot of time with, but on a bus for example I wouldn't want to say anything (the best there is probably to try not to worry about people finding you strange).