But not here,it has been locked and any comments or suggestions and feedback is now on another post so please feel free to look it up and comment if you wish,do remember to be kind and respectful to one another.
, if you do wish to vote yes,no or not bothered then it is still here about eight days old.not sure if you can still vote but worth a try.currently four pages back.
It had 61 replies 812 views eight days ago.
just trying to help and inform.many thanks.
Hi Lone
Getting some work done at home today anyway, with the house to myself - so this helps to provide an extra opportunity to at least feel more prepared for my return to work...and at least to feel I am organised and have my armoury prepared for the great "return"!
I think I know what you mean about the friends thing. I have not have any friends (by that I mean people you can open up to about stuff) since I was in primary school. I keep myself pretty isolated socially, as we have discussed here due to that "Ellie in the headlights"//Catch-22 of feeling a great need to connect but a paralysis through fear about letting my guard down and getting "squished".
However, I do realise that I need to break this isolationist cycle or I'll keep missing out on "life" which might well restrict me in the end from finding out what does lie at the centre of this jumble of cross-wires, elephant footprints etc. and to find some sense of peace of mind, heart, and even maybe a bit of my soul. I guess I just have to work out where I want my destination to be and work backwards from that in order to navigate to journey's end whilst bearing in mind the challenges and hindrances that my ND goggles will present.
Every interaction can lead to lots of over analysing....every post, read and re-read just in case I perceive that I have been tackless or hurtful (unintentionally) as there are genuinely people here (people who are also vulnerable) and I don't want to add to anyone's burden, just be there for people and hopefully add something positive. From reading so many posts here I have learnt a lot about peoples biorhythms...we all seem to go through cycles of up days and down days...vulnerable days and "run for the hill times".....tears before bedtime, as well as hugs! I think we all seem aware that we all have these moments, and how we like people to respond to them. It is like supporting a child learning to walk! Sometimes we need space, sometimes something deeper that can penetrate the lonely, anxious, fearful and exhausting fogs...sometimes we need catching because we fear falling........
I can be "full on mentally" 
if you wish. Worried about Spotty as I think she is marvellous, sweet, clever, and to use a technical term - "amazeballs" - but so bruised at the moment. The tortoise analogy is so apt in that as soon as she seems to open up, or connect....she checks herself..panics.....and bolts back into her tortoise shell. (Sorry Spotty if mentioning this causes a tremor!). Missing Missy Missfit as well (and her Guinea Pig)...someone else who put her head above the parapet and got caught in the crossfire.
Anyhow..(you can tell I am writing this on a proper keyboard....otherwise I normally wouldn't write so much..also feel guilty now for hi-jacking this thread!).
as they say....
"We can only give away to others what we have inside ourselves"
or
Est enim est (which translates to: "it is what it is")
Hi spotty and Ellie I have more than enough hugs for all.
Spotty You are allowed a whole hug as you are deserving of it.Go on treat yourself.
Ellie? Well you deserve a bear hug! You are so giving with help advice and support. I know things are a bit all over the place right now for you but despite that you just keep giving,
I know it won't mean much but things won't be as bad returning to work as we think, I just hope what I expect to be doing back at work hasn't changed, I will probably have a new labourer! My last one was temporary due to having the right certification for the job,my usual labourer had to renew his ticket. Things change quite often,add to that my company are reactionaries not planners,drives me mad,
I will not sleep the night before,I have already started swapping night and day, no routine and I just glide along,no set time for anything.
Please come here and chat after the chaos of work has settled back into routine,it wouldn't be the same without you, should tell tom that when he starts work as well, we need to come here and be self indulgent, no one else will listen quite so much for quite as long, we know ourselves.
big bear hug and I accept your hug to.
