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Made to feel like a shop lifter

kayla.cacti

Hi, I would like some advice please.

Today I went into JD sports (alone) when i went in i had a backpack on my back, it had some medication, sunglasses, my filofax, a jumper i'd just bought and a bottle of water. I looked around the shoe section and became aware i was being followed by a staff member.. this made me very uncomfortable so I cut my shoe browsing short and went down stairs to look at the tshirts, again I noticed I was being watched anyway I tried to ignore it and found a tshirt i wanted to try on.. i didnt really want to speak to the lady on the changing room as I hate that especially if im alone but anyway i did.. she then told me I had to take my backpack off and leave it outside when i was trying the tshirt on.. she wanted me to leave my possesions unattended for anyone to touch or steal. i was uncomfortable but i obliged, took my bag off and went to try the tshirt on.. I heard her mutter something to a colleague.. anyway i decided i did not want the tshirt because of how the woman made me feel so I went outside and she asked if i wanted the tshirt and when i said no she snatched it off me. I quickly picked up my bag and left to be watched again.. overall the experience made me feel very uncomfortable. Is this acceptable behavior? should they have taken my bag off me like that? why did they follow me around? was it because i had a back pack.. im sure lots of people carry back packs? Im very distressed and wont put myself in that position again!!! :( I have high funtioning autism by the way. 

  • I often feel really uncomfortable in shops. I honestly am not given to paranoia, but sometimes feel like I'm being watched in shops and it makes me feel awful.

    I also have a little chat with the ladies on the tills sometimes. Then later I feel like a mad old bag for doing it!:)

    Unsurprisingly, I keep going to the shops to a minimum.

  • I can emphasise with you.  But security staff have a job to do and having a backpack and unconventional body language does make one suspicious.

    The irony of the whole situation is that experienced shoplifters are very good at blending in and avoiding suspicious behaviour.

  • Hi,

    Sorry to hear of your experience, it is bad, they should have had a secure place for your back pack. 

    I had similar experience this week, but I am not too bothered about it. I have problems with supermarkets and know my behavior can look suspicious. This is first time I got followed by security guard

    Anyway, I bought a few items in B&M, planned to go to sainsburys, and prefer the shopping bags in sainsburys, so I just carried my items in my pocket walking. Instead of carrying my items around, first thing I did was buy a bag from self service till. Then went to browse shop, and emptied my pockets.

    I just showed the guy what was in the bags and explained what I had done, the items I had they did not sell. I have done similar things before, many times for years, and always thought that what I am doing looks odd. A fairly common thing I do because of my fears of germs and contamination. Is to go back in store and replace items I have just paid for with same ones on the shelves.

    Random

  • Hi, thanks for replying. I don't feel like a came across insecure but they sure did make me feel that way. Actually forgot to mention the tshirt I tried on was £25, so it's not like it was super expensive it was just £25.. come on if I was going to risk going to prison it would be for something more than £25 haha!

    You're right though i will shop elsewhere.

    sorry to hear you've had a similar bad experience.. people can be mean when they don't understand why someone doesn't look them in the eye or strike up a meaningless conversation with them. 

  • Perhaps you appeared insecure somehow and they picked this up and misinterpreted it? Try to imagine that someone just walked out with something really expensive while they were busy watching you (if they really did, that is, but having to leave your bag outside does seem strange indeed unless there are lockers).

    It made me feel better after I had been accused of stealing in a DIY shop where I had tried to figure out which of the washers in thick plastic sachets fitted my screw best (not the one I've got loose). I just tried around a bit, didn't break any of the wrapping or anything, but they seemed to find it dodgy. In the end I decided that one they sold loosely was best, so I went to pay for my one washer and they took me to an office and told me I know why I had to empty all my pockets now. Having a cold lots of dirty tissues came out and when they realised the mistake they sent me away without a single word of apology. But I'm sure someone had just stolen that massive sit-on lawnmower while they checked me ;-)

    It's probably not nice for anyone, especially not if you happen to be someone who rather walks into trouble for being overly honest, but try not to take it to heart too much, perhaps they were just bored and felt they had to justify their job... And maybe buy somewhere else next time - you don't want to reward them for treating you like that.