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Starting work for first time and very nervous

J99

Hi there,

I'm 17 and am leaving College to start a new job in June; but I'm quite nervous and need some advice.

I haven't liked College and am looking forward to leaving, as although I told them I have additional needs, nothing has been done to support me and I found the socialising aspect hard, so I don't have any friends there.

I was headhunted for a full time position by someone I knew from the industry; and after being interviewed, the comapny have offered me a job and I start in June.

Because of my age, it is very unusual for someone to leave College and go straight into full time employment. It was the norm many years ago, but today not many people do this and it is a rare thing for someone to do. I fear, being the youngest one in the office, I will fail to make friends at work and feel exactly the same way I do now!

What would your advice be?

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Agree with Rilnintagel.

    I would also say that work can be better than school/college for someone with ASD. School children can be brutal and they tend to be cruel and bullying can be normal. Work environments are much less tolerant of that sort of childish behaviour and I think you might be able to enjoy it more than you have enjoyed college.

  • My advice would be to subtly mirror others as this will subconsciously incline them to regard you as one of them and treat you more favourably. Psychology tip.

    Secondly, obeserve others and see the best in them. Seek humbly to emulate the characters who you believe have the best qualities. Ask them questions that they might inpart their insights. Contrariwise, try to limit your exposure to those people with behaviours that you feel are harmful in general or harmful to you personally.

    Thirdly, relationships are give and take. Sometimes there is an expectation on one side to do something due to being part of the job. A lot of relationships at work have elements that are not directly related to the work. Be aware when there seems to be an imbalance, and consider what would bring it closer to balance.

    Fourthly, whilst it is always possible to make new friends, it can sometimes be very hard, and I don't think there is a winning formula. Sometimes being uninvolved is the least stressful option. You can be strategic as there is often a degree of choice in being highly involved with other people or being aloof. Different situations may call for different approaches.

    Lastly I would say that you can't always win in social interactions, as there is a mixture of cooperation and competition depending on the personalities. When you find people you genuinely get on well with, try to make the best of it.