Published on 12, July, 2020
I've tried a lot of self-help and recovery efforts over the years trying to improve my life and deal with problems I've had and challenges I've faced. The main thing I have suffered from is always feeling like an outsider, always feeling awkward in social situations.
I've read books about public speaking and interpersional communications, and none of them have made any difference. I think, with Aspergers, the standard tools and tips aren't enough -- but I don't know what is!
More recently, about the past 5 years, especially because of some compulsive interests (which now I think may also be Aspergers related), I got involved in 12-step recovery. The way I've understood "the program," the main problem is really being selfish and focused on self (which makes for a miserable life, and compels a person seek ways to elliviate the pain), and by being more focused and involved with other people, thinking more of how to be helpful to others, then life becomes more fulfilling and more pleasurable (and then a person is not compelled anymore to go escape).
After more than 5 years of involvement, I still feel very much like an outsider, even in the context of a very strong and active support group.
So, I'm wondering if anyone else here relates to these problems.
What have you found helpful for dealing with Aspergers symptoms and coping with life, and what have you found to be frustrating -- things that are supposed to be so helpful and actually do work well for so many other people -- but just don't work well for someone with Aspergers?
Thanks, trainspotter, for your response.
I've wondered, how much of what is called "ASD" today and is a diagnosis and needs help and therapy would have been called being an "introvert" thirty years ago, which was respected as a personality type different than "extroverts" -- not inferior to them, but just better suited to different types of activities and different environments.
So that's one question. Besides that, I was wondering if there are other on-line forums for people with Aspergers that you know of, and how they compare to this one as far as the amount of people involved. I know I can google them and probably find dozens of them, but I don't want to keep signing up and trying out these forums if I can just find out from someone with personal experience which ones are active and which one's aren't. I admit that I'm disappointed for not having gotten more of a response here.
Hi Todd and Trainspotter,
I can absolutely relate to everything you've said. I think you nailed it on the head when you said "Where possible, just be myself" and "It is trying to 'fit in' with alien ways that causes the problems".
Any success in finding any other on-line forums for people with Aspergers? I'm still searching.