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Advice please No.2 - Losing weight / food

Onionbag

In short i've put on over 2 stone since i stopped working and i'm just under 18 stone.

I am increasingly finding my motivation to lose weight / reduce food consumption is linked to my helplessness regarding my future. I accept that if i can lose 3 or 4 stones then i'd feel amazing and more confident meaning i might be able to attempt more things and be in a better position to improve my life despite my autism.

I'm finding it challenging and frequently give in to my food urges when my brain tells me my goals cannot be achieved so not to bother. It's like a reward for accepting failure and the more i fail or give in then the more rubbish food i am allowed to eat thus reinforcing that neural pathway i guess.

I've read about the 'disappointment gap' where a person may have an unrealistic goal or such a big gap between where they find themselves in the moment and where they want to be that it causes lots of frustration and mental issues.

I am also aware that a goal has to be broken down into more manageable chunks that can be measured and ticked off as they are accomplished but it doesn't allow for the fat that the goal may not be achievable in the first instance.

Has anybody shed the pounds and found that self belief, confidence and motivation? How did you achieve this? How did you change your thinking patterns / patterns of behaviour?

  • I can only recommend Slimming World as a lifestyle choice to lose weight. I'll be honest and say that I struggle keeping myself below 11 stone. Which for a 5ft, 4 female is too heavy.  Right now I'm a size 12, and I got there because I'll be honest and consider that I may have had the beginnings of an eating disorder. I started out with no appetite and I liked the control - so I escalated it and rejected food even when my appetite returned. Even now, I struggle with my relationship with food and feel disgust when I eat properly. And i'm someone who has struggled to keep her weight down all her life. I only ate because my family started monitoring what I ate/didn't eat. 

    I did Slimming World a year ago and found it easy to follow. Expensive when living with other people (who would eat the groceries on me). But with a lot of support to keep you on track, and without cutting out the odd planned treat. You don't even need to join a group, you can have online membership (if you're like me and couldn't face the social aspect of a group). It is also exciting so you aren't eating the same old thing! You don't need to completely eliminate stuff, but work it into a balance. You can enjoy the 'good stuff' that for a brief moment makes you feel happy - by swapping it for fat-free yoghurts (chocolate, fruit flavoured etc) and fruit. Low cal jelly pots with fruit! Wholemeal bread, sweeteners instead of sugar in tea/coffee.  

    Losing weight can help you feel better about yourself. But not because losing weight makes you better as a person. When the body feels good with a good diet, right balance of nutrition and you have more energy and mobility... it takes away from the rest of your stress and issues.  You don't need to do it alone! Depending on where you live, you can get support through your local NHS authority in programmes that help you keep on track and support you! 

    Change your eating habits first, and don't focus on the losing weight aspect. Maybe take up swimming if you can handle it? Start taking walks if you are able to do so. Ask for support if you have anybody to help. 

    Don't obsess over the idea of 'losing pounds'.  I'm in a place where now that my depression is under control, I'm seeking a new outlet (or so I guess) and making that very mistake. 

    The first thing you need to do is not change how much you eat! But change WHAT you eat. You can have filling meals and snacks by following a set eating plan (which is why I recommend Slimming World).  But there are plenty of others out there that offer alternative eating plans. 

    I don't know if what I've said is of any help to you, but I believe you can reach the goal you want for yourself :)

  • Hi

    I'm 22 stone now. My weight has been up & down all my life. But it hasn't changed how I feel. In my youth I  went on extreme low calorie diets & tried everything. I didn't know then that I have autism & there will be no sudden magic cure. Even when I got down to 9 stone I was still unhappy, felt ugly & wore the same clothing.

    A few years ago I lost 6 stone easily after doing the ketogenic diet AKA Atkins. I hadn't done it to lose weight, but to see if it would help regarding my blackouts. I'm addicted to sugar. I found my appetite reduced quickly. Without even really trying, my portions became less very quickly. I'd even forget to eat. But the depression from having a face, body & posture that I think gives away my autism, left me feeling what was the point trying to look 'normal' when I never will. 

    But now I'm thinking more of my future too. I'm considering losing weight again, because I want to have another baby.

    If you go into weight loss with only minimal expectations to start with, if you do well that can act as a catalyst. But remember you won't change who you are.