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Friend of someone with Autism

Ivel

I met this guy on the bus and we discovered we had lots in common and I would like think we have become friends. He told me he was diagnosed autistic as a child and although he is a little eccentric, he is really fun to be around and I look forward to the times when we meet up. I am afraid my knowledge of autism is woefully inadequate but is there any 'dos and don'ts' I need to consider as I don't want to do something that loses me what is potentially a very good friend. 

  • Thanks- that's really helpfu, funnily enough one of the things I like about him is that he is blunt 

  • Like any other friend, you have to accept him for what he is.

    Whether autistic or not, we all have likes and dislikes, do things that others may find annoying, and have diffeent ways of doing things.  Your friend's ways although they may seem odd to other people seem perfectly normal to him, and as always the proviso should be if they do no one else any harm, why should anyone else be concerned?

    I know I bore people to death whith my ramblings about subjects which they have no interest, and I'm sure your friend will appreiate someone taking a genuine interest in him, someone who laughs with him not at him.  Autistic people often have a great sense of humour, and I know I can laugh at the things I misinterpret (and I still do get things wrong in a social sense  even at my age of 62).

    Autistic people can be very deep and intense in their thoughts.   I am very prone to random thoughts and often express them at inappropriate times (inappropriate to others that is).  Sometimes your friend may say things a little bluntly, this is just part of being autistic and if you recognise that he is not being deliberately rude, that will be a great help to him and help strengthen your friendship.  There is a good video on you tube about things not to say to an autistic person, (warning, contains strong language) but I think it is very well worth watching.  You can see the clip here

    Good luck for the future.

  • No, he really is a great guy and I have a strange bag of hobbies and interests which very few people seem to share. He likes most of them. For me it is brilliant to have someone who I can talk to. Which is why I really value him as a friend and I just don't want to do anything stupid and lose him. 

    Thanks

  • Be yourself. 

    Ask him if he's okay doing certain activities. Treat him as you'd treat any other friend which is being mindful of their feelings. Understand that they will probably upset you, so communicate, explain why a reaction/comment or action wasn't right. You treat him as you'd treat anyone you are friends with.

    He's not your 'autistic' friend, right? He's your friend who happens to have autism. That eccentric nature, is part of what you like about him, right? I can't speak for him and I doubt anybody actually can speak truly on individuals they don't know. But friendship goes both ways - so don't go out of your way to be anything but his friend.In return, he should be doing the exact same thing! He might mess up (everyone does). You might mess up. That is just part of any friendship.