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The guilt of giving up

tasharose84

My 15 yr old son, who is severely autistic, non verbal, doubly incontinent and violent is about to leave us. it was my decision. My younger two children had seen me beaten too many times and im now scared of my boy. 

i know its the right thing to do for everyone, including him. 

i cant take the guilt. its eating me from the inside out.  i cant stop crying. 

can someone, anyone, tell me how they got through this? 

Parents

  • Hi, Our son was 14 when he left us.  We lit a candle at meal times, as he was missing fromt he table.  Eventually, we left the candle off the table, then one night forgot to light it.  IT wasn't that he was dead, it was just that he wasn't with us, although his carers did bring him to us from time to time, when he wasn't violent.  

    My nose isn't straight as he broke it one day, he also attacked me with a knife, which was frightening.  I used to have a mobile on me all the time so I could call the police, and they blue lighted it around to us a couple of times.

    It's a hard decision to let them go, but he now lives about 20 miles from us, had a wife, and two kids.  His anger has been dealt with, but I see it happening to grandson no. 1 too.  But it was our best decision.  It kept our marriage together and we are stronger for having made that decision.

    M.

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  • Hi, Our son was 14 when he left us.  We lit a candle at meal times, as he was missing fromt he table.  Eventually, we left the candle off the table, then one night forgot to light it.  IT wasn't that he was dead, it was just that he wasn't with us, although his carers did bring him to us from time to time, when he wasn't violent.  

    My nose isn't straight as he broke it one day, he also attacked me with a knife, which was frightening.  I used to have a mobile on me all the time so I could call the police, and they blue lighted it around to us a couple of times.

    It's a hard decision to let them go, but he now lives about 20 miles from us, had a wife, and two kids.  His anger has been dealt with, but I see it happening to grandson no. 1 too.  But it was our best decision.  It kept our marriage together and we are stronger for having made that decision.

    M.

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