Really really struggling

hi, i have aspergers and im a 37 yr old mum to daughter of 7 who most definitely is not like me. I met a lovely man last june and he deals with me very patiently but recently im having one of my wobbles as such where my anxiety is through the roof and i dont know who i am or my purpose in life. Im a planner and always have been but hes a plodder and it grates me. I need plans and to work towards them otherwise i go off track. we dont live together and he never mentions the future and i ask him whats our plan n he says why cant you be happy with the way things are? But im not. I want more.. anyway the meds have made me gain 2 stone which i despise as im really slim naturally. im waiting for my support worker to get back to me, she helps me with paperwork and going to public places.. i work part time but its my comfort zone and its routine which is safe, im a caretaker so dont come across many people as im there really early in a morning. as to relationships, i struggle to show emotion, and lack empathy towards others apart from my daughter. i overthink and always think the worst, done this all my life, i have ocd and stim alot, i also stutter which is worse when im anxious. I dont know anyone with aspergers and struggle to make friends.., i have 2 whom ive known for years. Any other mums out there with aspergers? Sorry ive rambled i think.