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Mother's death

Bella bombshell

My brother is 37, was diagnosed with aspergers around 15 years ago. 

My mother died earlier this year, my problem is throughout his whole life my mother disempowered him massively, she did literally everything for him, mainly to prevent his bad moods, she refused to encourage any form of independence, when he showed an interest in anything outside her she quashed it. Some friends have said this may have been to protect him however I struggle with this idea as I feel she just wanted to bury her head it was easier for her to just do it. He refuses to do anything himself, won't even butter a slice of bread. If my dad doesn't make his food etc he kicks off. If he is at a family event and wants to leave he says he feels sick or has a headache, previously this would trigger my mam taking him home.

I suppose I'm after some advice on how I can help this improve, my dad's life is miserable not to mention  my brother. 

Thank you in advance 

  • I offer my respects and condolances regarding the death of your mother.

    There is a book entitled The Complete Guide To ASPERGER'S SYNDROME, by TONY ATTWORD, priced at £17,99, if you do not already know about it - which really is the business in terms of how to deal with and understand what is what with asperger's syndrome.

    As far as your mother protecting your brother goes though, your friends are quite correct, and as far as your suspicion of your mother just doing it becuase it was easier - you are correct as well; providing that is you consider making problems for later as being easier! My mother did likewise with me - but only to a very minor fraction of what you describe as happening with your brother.

    I wish you, your dad and your brother all the best with things improving progressively.