Alternative + Asperger's

Hi viceversa and vometia - interesting conversation.

Viceversa, I'm a female Aspie in my 50s. Didn't know I was an Aspie until less than a year ago, when suddenly the pieces of the puzzle that has been my life started making a picture, if you know what I mean?

As a teen I was quite keen to be "alternative", but lacked the confidence to dress in a style other than mainstream. I was a bit different to my school friends in choice of music though - at the ages of 14-16 I was into Queen, Pink Floyd and David Bowie while most of my friends liked The Bay City Rollers (a dreadful 70s boy band) or if they were a bit more daring, T Rex. At the end of the 70s I got into punk, including The Sex Pistols and the Jam, although I quite liked Status Quo too. Other bands / musicians I have liked over the years include: Gary Numan, The Clash, Kraftwerk, The Human League, Duran Duran, Bryan Ferry, Big Audio Dynamite, The Prodigy, The Chemical Brothers, Fat Boy Slim, Daft Punk...

Another " unusual " trait I've always had (for a woman) is a love of science fiction and fantasy. I adored the Narnia Chronicles as a child. As an adult, my favourite books have included Asimov's robot series, most of Ian M Banks' work, Stephen Donaldson's Chronicles of Thomas Covenant and The mirror of her dreams, and a lot of Stephen King's books (the ones which are more fantasy rather than pure "horror", like Under The Dome)

My favourite movies have mostly been SciFi/ fantasy, particularly when a bit of humour is thrown in, like Men in black, Independence Day, Paul, and Ghostbusters. I like some films with what might be considered silly male humour too, such as Anchorman, Step Brothers, Team America and Ted.

Some women don't know what to make of me - I don't like watching soaps, reality TV, or soppy dramas like Call The Midwife. But I am interested in clothes and fashion, and food and nutrition, which gives me " safe" topics for chat with female colleagues.

You said "A lot of therapy revolves around helping me to feel that I fit in". I don't think that would help me, as like you I don't want to " fit in", I like being different and individual. I like to be in control of the situation I'm in, or at least know what to expect, but I have now taught myself to "expect the unexpected" and do a quick assessment of a change to adapt to it as well and as quickly as possible. The main thing I say to myself is: Does it really matter that this has happened? How can I incorporate this change into my immediate plans?

I find group social situations tedious and stressful so mainly avoid them. I don't go to my work evening Xmas party. But I do like my colleagues, so I've compromised by agreeing to attend a pre Xmas lunch with the other ladies. Most of them know I'm an Aspie, so I don't get pressured into doing stuff I don't want to, so I make my own decision and feel in control. 

Yeah, that word again - control. It sounds a bit megalomaniac possibly, but it's the key to me feeling secure.

Pixie

Hi viceversa and vometia - interesting conversation.

Viceversa, I'm a female Aspie in my 50s. Didn't know I was an Aspie until less than a year ago, when suddenly the pieces of the puzzle that has been my life started making a picture, if you know what I mean?

As a teen I was quite keen to be "alternative", but lacked the confidence to dress in a style other than mainstream. I was a bit different to my school friends in choice of music though - at the ages of 14-16 I was into Queen, Pink Floyd and David Bowie while most of my friends liked The Bay City Rollers (a dreadful 70s boy band) or if they were a bit more daring, T Rex. At the end of the 70s I got into punk, including The Sex Pistols and the Jam, although I quite liked Status Quo too. Other bands / musicians I have liked over the years include: Gary Numan, The Clash, Kraftwerk, The Human League, Duran Duran, Bryan Ferry, Big Audio Dynamite, The Prodigy, The Chemical Brothers, Fat Boy Slim, Daft Punk...

Another " unusual " trait I've always had (for a woman) is a love of science fiction and fantasy. I adored the Narnia Chronicles as a child. As an adult, my favourite books have included Asimov's robot series, most of Ian M Banks' work, Stephen Donaldson's Chronicles of Thomas Covenant and The mirror of her dreams, and a lot of Stephen King's books (the ones which are more fantasy rather than pure "horror", like Under The Dome)

My favourite movies have mostly been SciFi/ fantasy, particularly when a bit of humour is thrown in, like Men in black, Independence Day, Paul, and Ghostbusters. I like some films with what might be considered silly male humour too, such as Anchorman, Step Brothers, Team America and Ted.

Some women don't know what to make of me - I don't like watching soaps, reality TV, or soppy dramas like Call The Midwife. But I am interested in clothes and fashion, and food and nutrition, which gives me " safe" topics for chat with female colleagues.

You said "A lot of therapy revolves around helping me to feel that I fit in". I don't think that would help me, as like you I don't want to " fit in", I like being different and individual. I like to be in control of the situation I'm in, or at least know what to expect, but I have now taught myself to "expect the unexpected" and do a quick assessment of a change to adapt to it as well and as quickly as possible. The main thing I say to myself is: Does it really matter that this has happened? How can I incorporate this change into my immediate plans?

I find group social situations tedious and stressful so mainly avoid them. I don't go to my work evening Xmas party. But I do like my colleagues, so I've compromised by agreeing to attend a pre Xmas lunch with the other ladies. Most of them know I'm an Aspie, so I don't get pressured into doing stuff I don't want to, so I make my own decision and feel in control. 

Yeah, that word again - control. It sounds a bit megalomaniac possibly, but it's the key to me feeling secure.

Pixie