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Dealing with meltdowns in 8 year old boy

Andyben

Hi, my son has just been diagnosed with high functioning autism (aspergers), he is 8, nearly 9. We are having difficulty dealing with his behaviour at home. Tonight he wouldn't stop watching TV when we told him it was time to go upstairs for a bath. He'd been watching it for a long time so we quite firm that it was time to turn it off. He had a really massive mega meltdown which resulted in physical violence towards us and him thorwing things around and destroying things. My other half got very cross and shouted a lot which didn't help but I just don't know how to deal with it when he starts throwing stuff around - we can't let him continue to destroy his and our belongings so we have to stop him. 

Any advice pleae? We are desparate as this is making us all unhappy.

Thanks

  • Hi Andyben,

     

    People on the autism spectrum disorder can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies. Have you seen the information on behaviour and strategies on the NAS website? You might find it a good starting point:

    www.autism.org.uk/.../behaviour.aspx 

    Warm regards,

    Heather - Mod

  • Hi, my son is 5 and as yet not diagnosed (also HF autism), I know he is younger than your son but similar strategies may help, have you considered using a visual timetable, you may think this is babyish but they do work as people on the spectrum have difficulty planning (this is important to remember), verbal cues don't work.  Break down the evening into time slots and make a timetable with images, eg. 30 mins t.v. with a picture of your son watching t.v. then the next slot, brushing teeth etc.

    I had the same problem with my son and tried this a very basic version just done with a felt tip pen and a sheet of A4 drawn into blocks with each task and time and it worked a treat in fact he races into the bathroom to see whats next on the list. I wouldn't of thought it would work (a total sceptic) but I'm now applying it with all sorts of problems, even a timer may help or an alarm clock timed to go off when the t.v. needs to be switched off unless the noise would bother him.  I know I mentioned this on another post but try and get hold of a book called 'Why do I have to?' A book for children who find themselves frustrated by everyday rules by Laurie Leventhal-Belfer, there's even a section on 'Why do I have to turn off the computer or the TV before my game or show is over? my son uses this as his bedtime read some days.

    I know its hard but stay calm, try not to shout (easier said than done) as shouting really gets you nowhere in a meltdown, remember he is using the t.v. as a calming reteat in an otherwise utterly confusing world it is uncomplicated, asks nothing from him and he escapes into it. My son likes batteries and a variety of other stuff but we use visual timetables to modify the time he has with them so we can move on, its not perfect they don't always work but its a help. Good Luck by the way I got the book from ebay.