I am having a rough time, and really need someone to talk too. Before anyone suggests, I know the samaritans are available, but I have contacted them with mixed responses. Main problem being you can't talk to the same person when you need to contact again. I tried email, same thing. You just get this long thread, but the replies between all my messages have a totally different character to them, and it seems all they are doing is just trying to pass things on to the next person.
Same with doctors, I get so upset about things they can't relate too, but they are meant to be mental health experts.
Have had a really bad week last week, the week before I had a break off work, and forced myself to relax and not try and catch up with all these people who just seem to be a constant drain on my resources. It was the first time in over a year, I have had just a few days to myself.
Anyway, last week back at work, and get pressured in to doing the work to deadlines. I asked many times for clarification on what was needed. Only for it to be thrown back at me, but deadline changed. I did work took me 3 weeks, where the person estimated put down under 4 days. I asked person estimating, how he estimated and change involved to get a dead end response. When I finished the work, I showed it to the manager. She said oh I don't want all of that, so spend extra time removing code took me days to put in. I made some minor changes, to then commit all my changes and find my other colleages have totally re-designed the area I am working on, and never told me. So I am not having to re-do all of my work again. Then it's me that get's criticized for my performance. Whenever my colleagues ask for help, I do there and then. Whenever I ask for help, it always I can't do it now
Got to Friday, and releived the working week was over. During the week I also had a lot of pressure trying to sort out my hoarding and listing things on ebay. I am obsessive about packaging and fear couriers. I sold 4 items, and spent over 10 hours of my limited spare time to get them packed. On Wednesday I did this though the night until 3:15am. Only to have to wake up at 7:30am to get ready because courier gave me a window to collect them between 8am and 9pm. I am worried about hassles with buyers. ebay was the last place I wanted to sell stuff, but just couldn't get any interest.
On Saturday, was last day of warranty of some second hand speakers I bought from dealer in august. I had various problems which I didn't fully manage to resolve, but think I have proved it is down to acoustics in my room. Anyway there were some electronic board that you use to drive the speaker, and I was using one I already owned, not the ones I bought with these speakers. The ones with the speakers need 3 amplifers to hook up, and I simply haven't had time to sort out speaker cables.
So even though I was very tired, I came up with a plan to test the electronics board which took me about six hours. They seem to be working fine, but during the test I noticed there was a problem, a rattle on one of the speakers. I had put this down to the stands, they came all scratched, and are a metal frame with wooden panels.
I spent a few weeks sorting those out, by removing the wooden panels which were secured by these sticky foam pads. I reassembed them, but didn't get round to sorting the sticky pads out, as I couldn't find any strong enough. They held in place on their own without them. I did notice a little rattle before, but was expecting I may hear that without the sticky pads holding the wooden panels.
To test the electronics boards, I removed the wooden panels so I could access all the connectors. When I tested them, heard the problem with the bass rattle. And realised it has nothing to do with the panels. Anyway i though it's the last day of the warranty, so I will quickly get an email off to the dealer, and should just be in time.
I then realise from the email, I got my dates mixed up, and bought them a day earlier than I expected. If you go by the hour and not the dates, I sent the email about 1.5 hours before exactly 3 months to the hour. Not sure how helpful dealer will be.
Caused me great anxiety yesterday, and was a massive effort to try and calm myself down. Did as best as I could, I though I will try and get up a bit earlier and sort through my other stuff I have hoarded to get another 2 sales packed up for ebay.
I then get an email from someone who is interested in buying a framed print, problem is he is a long way away, and it is framed in glass, and can not be dismantled. I asked a colleague at work who has family in plymouth to ask if he wouldn't mind taking it for a contribution to his petrol next time in the area. I didn't get to fully ask the question but got a very quick negative response. The guy asked me when I could get it packed for him.
I was going to just write a quick response, as I have second thoughts about couriering it, and also selling it, because I discover the print has appreciated significantly in value. Although the framer has badly framed the print, and it is not possible to remove the print without damaging it (so I was told), have explained this to the buyer.
I have this print along with others stored in a bedroom, they were the source of great anxiety getting them framed. All have been reframed 3 times, a few 4 times, and one 5 times. That was around 2001-2002. Since them I store them in this room and hardly enter it in fear of damaging them. I never let anyone in the room (try, landlord did anyway). I have been in the room about 12 times, out of 3 of those have resulted in damaging a framed print. Today, I tried to measure this picture this guy wants. I ended up damaging 2 other framed prints. One badly, all over in a few seconds. I take great care to slowly move and handle them. I moved a box out of the way which had a print leaning against it. This print them rolled a few inches in to another print, and had damaged it.
I just get so angry and frustrated, the prints that got damaged today are repairable. It's going to be expensive, and it always seem to be either my most favourite prints that suffer, and it the past the most valuable (the worst one was unrepairable and worth a few thousand dolllars)
I just have this continual nightmare
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