Hello, I am new to this community. I could really do with some advice, My brother is 38 years old and I believe he may have autism. He has been struggling for many years, he struggles to hold down a job, he has negative house sharing experiences due to his untidiness and repetitive habits, he needs to pace around a lot at night and moves furniture in the communal areas. He has a lot of health problems, he doesn't want to be hugged because he’s paranoid about his neck getting injured, his legs hurt and so he needs to pace around the house a lot and take sudden walks, he will just get up and leave during dinner or in a cafe for example. His room is filled with stuff, he has piles of VHS tapes, boxes and bin liners of possessions he’s had probably his whole life. He gets head aches, once he got a head ache after eating a roast dinner and so never ate roast dinners again. He seems stuck in the past, particularly the 90’s from when he was a teenager. He’s quite unaware of new technologies, is wary of new things. I tried to take him shopping last time I saw him and he couldn’t handle choosing items, he needed to leave the shop. He has a lot of anxiety, can’t get on certain buses, he explained to me when we were waiting for the bus that needed to sit in the aisle because of his legs. He’s afraid of going to the doctor, doesn't want to be examined or touched. Although he has now registered with a doctor and had one session with the GP.
In terms of our relationship we aren’t close in a typical sister/brother way, he is very distant from his emotions, we seem to never get closer, he always asks me how I am but he isn’t curious about me at all, nor does he feel bad about not knowing much about me. He doesn’t ask about my boyfriend or my work really. He talks a lot about films so we connect in that way, he’s very knowledgable about films and TV, but nothing current.
When he was young he was kind of the golden boy, handsome, smart, chatty, cheeky and funny, played football and cricket- wanted to play pro. I looked up to him as younger sisters tend to do with older brothers. He would bully me quite a bit, he had a lot of anger, but he did have moments of being a nice brother too. He definitely struggled emotionally as a child.
Because he’s an adult and very sensitive about his health I don’t think that he would ever consider himself to be autistic or want to think about it, because he has anxiety. I have no idea how I would ever bring up the subject with him, he doesn't want to be considered different in any way.
If anyone can relate to this or has any advice for me I’d be so grateful to hear from you.