Muddling Dreams and Reality?

Hi there evebody.

CJ,

1. About the apology for having waffled on alot about your problems; coming to terms with your feelings is not really something you need to apologise for - at all. And this waffling business you describe yourself as doing - none of your writings have inolved lengthy vagueness or trivia. It seems all to be somewhat relevant, familiar and meaningful to me, as far as big childhood ouches go.

2. With the double processing issues, Autistic People have all seven sensibilities working together as a narrow or singular specialisation of ability. This means that your daughter's issues - each and every one of them - 'are' being processed indirectly and directly by by way of also having hellish meltdowns and going all chariots of fire and so fourth. As such, her recollections are coming forward now as the psychological impacts of the funeral and all that heal, so no permanent damage there then, which is a bonus.

3. With though the hypertension, meltdowns and running and so fourth, a lot of Adrenaline is involved here with Ketones resulting, and the body becomes toxic and uncomfortable. So Vitamin C as an antioxidant is required, along with drinking a litre and a half of mineral water each day - to rince the toxic residues out. Perhaps in the near future check with a health professional about hypertension, and vitamin, mineral, tissue salt and electrolite balances etc.

4. With the aching legs, one reason can be lactic-acid, or muscular burn, so having baths every three or four days with 200 grammes of Epsom Salts (Magnesium Sulphate), and the same measure of Bicarbonate of Soda dissolved in the water can really help.

5. Another reason for the aching legs, can be that exercising them alot can result in Tendinitis, whereby the muscular development causes the tendons to constrict making the calve muscles taught between the ankles and the knees; with circulation in the muscles getting impeded, and lactic-acid burn increasing. To restretch the tendons and relax the calve muscles - when sat upon a seat; keep the heels to the floor and in turn lift the front of each foot up and down several times in turn - like as tapping a foot to music. This stretching exercise can be done in bed when waking up and going to sleep, and when stood around during the day.

6. In order to learn to deal with the intensities of meltdowns - deep even paced pelvic breathing really helps; as shollow diaphragmatic breathing causes oxygen deprivation and normalises confused and agitated states of behaviour. Imagine in a sense that the bladder or whomb is the lungs, and know that breathing as if this were so keeps people calmer generally and during emergencies, and prevents many long-term health and sanity issues from developing.

7. Another way of reducing hypertension, to manage meltdowns, is to physically loosen up at various points through the day, just as with limbering up and down before, during and after differing stages of exercise - which is fundamental especially during the colder months of the year.

D.

I certainly don't confuse my dreams with reality after waking, however, I have to admit that when I've had a particularly powerful dream there is no realization that it is, in fact, a dream and I suppose it's its own reality taking place within the sub-conscious.

At the end of the day reality is all about perception so what is real and what is not is open to interpretation. It's the old chesnut about whether a tree makes a sound when it falls in the forest if there are no ears about to perceive the sound.

It's perfectly true that a dream can seem so real that it has the power to cause fear, love, hate, ecstacy, etc. to the dreamer at the time, so that side of dreams are real at least.

I have had dreams at times that I wasn't sure afterwards if they were dreams or not.  On one occasion I dreamt I had committed an extremely serious crime and it was not until several weeks afterwards that I had confirmation it was'nt something I had actually done. 

Dreams send us to a completely different world but this world still imparts ideas into our conciousness which can be confused with memories. And if you are on medication, many of them can enhance this experience.

If anyone has ever been unfortunate enough to have a loved one suffer from dementia you may have heard sometimes that they think they have been doing all sorts of tasks, or have been places in the recent past with people who died many years ago.  I put this down to some sort of dreaming which gets caught in their reality.

Several times when someone I knew well has died, I have thought I have seen them when out, in places like the park or in town.  I think this is just really not processing things properly, as soon as I thought about it I knew it wasn't possible.  But for a fleeting moment reality has been put to one side.  And this is not something that has recently started, it has been with me as long as I can remember so it is not me going senile.

The human mind is very complex and I don't think it is surprising we sometimes get things a little muddled.

Hello D, and Vometia, Thank you for your ongoing thoghts, it is very interesting reading about all of these things and thanks for clarifying Lucid dreams, I had always wondered!

D,  my daughter has more complex issues that the average person, let alone the fact she has to deal with her Autism too, her nanny died in 2014 whom she idolized and after watching him suffer for 5 years, her dad died in May this year.  We also had a little boy in 2013 and have moved twice.  So for someone who's 'disability' means she doesn't like change, has had a lot to deal with.  

'Jane' from ASD Helping Hands has pointed out that they think she also has a 'double processing' issue, so if you are not familiar; I am aware that the funeral for her dad was in May, but only two weeks ago did she start processing this - we communicate in writing often, and this is where we are.  'Jane' believes that she has to process the funeral, and then after that then has to process the feelings that derived from that, so has to spend double the time on everything.

She is terribly stressed at the moment, as I am, as anyone would with what she has just been through.  I am reserching whether a change of school would be suitable, she is in mainstream at the minute, but I am beginning to get the impression they do not understand her.  I have also just discovered, it looks like she has Sensory Vestibular, the OT is going to double check but the waiting time is 18+ weeks.  She is so, so active and will complain things like - my legs hurt, becuase I haven't been running! She will run around for ages, use her trampolene etc.  So it looks like school need to keep her move active during the day, so she can cope better at home. 

She is in till 5pm on a Weds and Thurs, so it was dark.  I tried letting her run as much as she wanted to, where possible, and gave her a few spins (this is increadibly hard for me.), but by tonight we were at meltdown point by the time we collected her brother form a different school.  Withing 15 mins the meltdown was bubbling to the point, I instantly requested assistance from a neighbour, who had to stay for 3+ hours again, to ensure we were all safe.  

No running = MELTDOWN from hell!

Anyway - sorry I have waffled alot, I have no one to talk to really who completely understands.

Thanks,

CJ

Hi CJ

As far as the COMPLETE GUIDE TO ASPERGERS goes, it covers all the developmental stages of autistic, aspergian and even typical children a bit too. Whatever you cannot learn from this book about the specifics of your daughter's autism, it has all you will need to find where you can. Also, it may help you to organise your research criteria, ask more informative questions, and be more comprehensive with the answers.

As for your daughter's muddling dreams and reality. Well, considering the austic need for a fixed practical routine in daily life, it is not at all surprising that this would have been fixedly continued on with in your daughter's dreaming life. In what way then does this not quite fit with the situation being discussed? Consider what you and Vometia have discussed in terms of Lucid Dreaming - if you choose to answer this question.

D.

1. It appears you do understand the problem well enough, and have formed a viable solution for it.

2. Another consideration here - is that just as light has seven spectral refractions (or colours), and that minerals have seven crystalline configurations (i.e. pyrite as a cubic, quartz as a trigonal, and so on); the same applies for the experiential fields of the human embodimeent - with each one resonating with the seven tonal notations of the diatonic scale; as used in western music.

3. Thus it is that people either have experiences of waking up several times before they actually do, and on occasion wetting the bed, or in your daughters case - as she wound down and fell stage by stage deeper asleep, she was accordingly being woken up by a dreamt version of you - in several levels or domains of her dreaming.

4. The next question then, accepting the aforementioned, and that your daughter, when having a meltdown, stated that you were waking her up to do jobs through the course of the night - might this mean then that she was having problems with being overworked or stressed out? Could this just be a natural stage of her childhood development, to be outgrown, or might changes be rquired either at home, school or both?

D.

A lucid dream is one where someone becomes aware of themselves dreaming but remains asleep.  Apparently some people can actually then influence the course that the dream takes, though in my case I'm either along for the rollercoaster ride or (more typically) I wake up pretty much immediately.

I don't know if it's unusual for someone to think something they dreamt really happened and whether that's an at all autistic thing to do or just one of those things that experience teaches you: I think I've become a more suspicious, cynical old grump as I've aged and the way I vew my unconscious mind and its shenanigans is no exception!

I think the toilet dreams are often the obvious one where you actually need to go, but I have heard they can represent a general feeling of insecurity too, in my case just of going out and dealing with people since I'm quite agoraphobic and often have dreams where I'm out and about.  Interesting that I'm actually much more sociable and mobile in my dreams but finding toilets with broken door-latches and so on is apparently my payback!

Thanks for your comments, although, please excuse me, I fell asleep and am not quite understanding.  I have no idea what a Lucid dream is.  

I think if I am understanding you correctly is that; when  I woke up, I knew I had been dreaming, but I am wondering, is it possible, to have had such a vivid dream, that later on, you actually think you lived it and not dreamt it.  So she told the teachers I wake her in the middle of the night (not true!) - so can it be explained because, in her dream I did wake her up, (but not me physically), and so later on, she actually thinks I did?

Thanks CJ

You have some really interesting points.  As an NT myself, I remember trying my best to fly (as in, spirit out of body flying), I would practice for hours, and sometimes thought I achieved it.  I also found your toilet point funny, purely because my worst dream (very frequent) was to wake up, get out of bed - feel the cold floor, walk down the wooden staircase, out house was always cold so feeling chilly, walk throught he lounge, past the lovely warm range (always lit) in the kitchen, through the small hall and into the bathroom.  I would actually sit on the toilet and feel as though I was about to start, then wake up, in bed, about to wet myself!!!  

horryfying, and so often, I can still rmember it now as though I had just been through it all again.

Anyway, thanks for sharing.  I will keep plugging away at trying to understand my little girl.  We will make it in the end.

Being that I do not know the range or extent of your interests, reading proficiency and so on, it is tricky to narrow down the most viable research lane or lanes for you.

To start with though, I suggest, THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO ASPERGERS SYNDROME, by TONY ATTWOOD - even if your child is not Aspegian - being that it covers very well all the development stages and needs of autistic children, and has research references aplenty. It is a psychological classic, and it will give you a direct approach to learning about your child with your child. The latest version cost £17:99 as a paperback new.

It's an interesting subject.  I don't think I've ever totally confused dreams and reality, though there's been enough things I've vaguely remembered where I'm not sure if it's something that actually happened or something I dreamt.  Nothing especially major, and probably not very unusual, but still a bit of a head-scratcher sometimes.

The things that do give me pause for thought is my unconscious mind's apparent bloody-mindedness when it comes to trying to outwit me.  There's been so many times I've started to become aware that maybe it's a dream and my subconscious tries to prove it isn't.  I'll pay close attention to my surroundings, examine the detail of things and it'll be so utterly convincing, whether it's just random bits of tat or other apparently inconsequential details.  I remember one time I was stood in the meadow in front of my old house and had that nagging feeling, but no, I could feel the just slightly uncomfortably cool night breeze blowing my hair about and buffeting my clothes and watched the grass swaying about, I could smell the earthy aroma of the night air, I could hear far-away sounds as they carried, I admired the yellow full-moon in the sky.  It was quite big but looked awesome.  And that was the point my unconscious mind gave the game away: "what would look more awesome is if there were two moons!  Ooh yeah."  So there I was, stood in the breezy meadow admiring two moons knowing I wasn't really there, but my mind was having fun by that point and I wasn't waking up until it was done, apparently.

Not as bad as the times when I do wake up and think I'm actually awake, and don't quite notice that things aren't quite right like none of the lights in the house working, as happened recently: scary, but more irritating than anything.  Until I actually woke up for real.

At least it seems to keep me entertained, but it is cantankerous and annoying.  I wonder where it'll take me tonight, whether it'll be somewhere new or one of its serialisations.  I'll probably dream about toilets with no paper in them, that's a particular favourite for no reason I can fathom.

Thanks for your response, I am what we call on here an NT I am afraid, but my daughter is autistic and I have been trying to find anyway of changing my behaviour to help her and material to help understand her better.

So your book reference is appreciated, but aslong as you think it is still ok as she is Autistic and not Aspergic/gian (not sure of correct terms).

The reason for interest is that my daughter claimed (during a meltdown) at school that I was waking her up in the middle of the night to do jobs.  Now the school believed her, but obviously I would never wake her up, she normally goes to bed between 10 and 10.30 and sometimes as late as 11 or 12, so why on earth would I wake her up again?

I was wondering if she was dreaming about this as she often talks in her sleep or has nightmares.  But I am now inclined to believe that she may be confusing the middle of the night with when I wake her in the morning and then has to do her jobs to go to school - so it fits but not quite.

Thanks for responding to me.

CJ

Thank you for your comments, can I just ask where you source your information from? I can then maybe do some more research into it.

Thanks CJ

1. Many people have dreams that seem real, or even in a few cases - more than real! Consider for instance nightmares, or the disappointment of waking up to reality. Although, "Life~is~but~a~dream" - is worthy of some consideration here.

2. Dreams are though in every case different levels of experience, and are as such real experiences, and this needs vey much to be respected and validated. Learning though to tell the difference between what is dreamt of and what is not - is a developmental process, and thus entirely natural.

3. But, a shared sense of reality is something that autistic people have great difficulty coping with. Most people for instance spend alot of time pretending socially to be other than they actually are, i.e. smiling politely when miseraable and so fourth, whilst autistic people tend to be themselves, and experience major difficulties attempting to be otherwise. So, in the social sense, a reality check can be nothing of the sort for autists, given that so many (autists and otherwise) have been consistently misled into believing that they are incompetant and negligent.

4. Hence it is, in the psycho-analytical sense, that dreams can be recognised as being compensations for societal conformity, or exclusion, and can give us clues or even clear indications of what may then or not be lacking in a person's life-experience.

5. Keeping diaries and dream diaries can be useful if the mistaking of abstract and concrete experiences becomes problematic. But, as stated before, this is a natural process of development, and each type of experience needs to be validated accordingly.

I hope this information proves helpful, and I wish you and your autistic eight year old all the very best - have a good one.

D.