i don't know where to start..... I am really upset right now, i will try to explain how I got to this state of dispare.
i was a member of a well known sports facility, I joined in June with my daughter and her partner. I never go alone, always with my daughter or both. Being in a wheelchair it's been difficult most of the time just accessing things as I have a larger chair than most. But we made the most if it. This all started friday when my daughter got a telephone call from the manager of the club....explaining a complaint had been put in about us. He told my daughter about it and said he was away until tuesday(today). My daughter explained everything to me and was really puzzled as in both our eyes we had done nothing wrong... I shall explain. There is only one changing room i can acess in the club, it just happens to be the disabled shower room....I use it to change and unchange. I appreciate that their are other disabled members in the club, I know they use the room too. when we left the pool area I knew there was someone disabled just gone into the changing area but was not sure which room she was in. When we got to the changing room it was clear she was in the room I could only access. I was not bothered, my daughter and I waited outside the room, in the mirror area chatting. We chatted about how other members use the disabled facilities that should not and it was annoying. And how for quickness we have noticed male and females use the lockers ...annoying again as there are not many lockers there. So general chit chat really.... Weather etc.. we commented to each other that the shower had been on a long time, over 15 minutes and that my trousers could get wet when getting dressed... A hazzard of only having one room to use! Anyway the lady opened the door after my daughter and I waited for about 40 minutes...we were pleased as we were getting cold. She sopped right outside the door next to the lockers so my daughter nicely asked if she could move aside a little as my wheelchair needed a larger turning circle. She looked disgruntled as her bag was heavy and she needed to move it, by put my daughter was nice to her. We got in the changing room and it was drenched, soaked and my daughter could not put our bag down anywhere. The bench was covered in talc, it was everywhere so again my daughter asked the lady nicely if she would not mind just clearing the bench so we could put our clothes in a clean area.....it was her mess! Again she huffed and puffed (it seemed) and wiped the bench. We then started to chat to her, about the room, how the facilities were not adiquate enough, she agreed and actually stood chatting to us both for a good 5 minutes. It was pleasant. We got changed and went home.
the next thing we know is that when the manager phoned to say this lady had put in a complaint against us. this whole thing has really upset me, to the point where I have not slept with frustration and worry. We went into the club today to discuss the matter with the manager and it was awful. The ladys complaint basically says I said...yes me... I said she should not of been using that room and that I told her to wipe the bench. Its not in me to lie, I can't so told the manager the lady is not telling the truth, I never said or did that. my daughter explained it was pleasant, the lady chatted and everything was fine. The manager did not believe a word we said and said due to another incident.....what incident?? Apparently this was new to us, no one at any point has mentioned any other complaints. Apparently a member of staff complained when I shouted.... But my daughter went and explained my issues and the staff member said they understood and it was not a problem. But now the manager was telling us he has made a complaint?? My husband was there and explained the issues I have where I take things literally, and that when I shout it's not deliberate, it just happens. He mentioned that I was waiting to be seen regarding autism... it felt like the manager did not care or want to care. My husband and daughter tried to explain simply how I follow rules and don't understand when people don't...they both went into detail some of the issues I have.
The managers answer to this was for us to only use the club out of peek hours, when less people were about. We pay full membership so we can use it at anytime, why restrict us. He also said when we're talk to be aware of other members around us! Basically saying I should not talk as other club members may make a complaint. This was his answer..... He has no other adults with autism/Aspergers using the club and advised that my daughter should try harder to 'supervise' me....... WhaT?? My daughter was so distress she had a massive panic attack and I was crying as I just could not handle the situation at all. The end ruslt is that we feel we have been pushed out of the club, I did not want to leave, I love swimming. I feel terrible as now I feel I can't talk to anyone without people complaining...it's awful how they made us feel. So I asked to cancel our memberships as how could we go in there thinking we cannot talk or waiting for someone else to complain about us. I did not like asking to cancel, it really distressed me as I want to swim. We filled in the paperwork and left.... I cried in the car.
an awful experience and now my husband is looking at writing a letter to head office, i cant just drop this, it's going around and around in my head, I keep thinking well was it me, what did I do? My daughter assures me it was not me, I did nothing wrong... I feel awful and am still crying over this.
I don't know how we move on from this, i can't accept it as I am confused. All I want to do is swim. And fit in.... Why is it so hard??
