Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I am new here and was told about this site at my partners daughters assessment yesterday. I was wondering if anyone here has had or is still having a problem with their child/children urinating on clothes or floor, she is 14 and has been doing this for the last few months, and always has the same answer that she forgot to go to the toilet. Me and my partner really have no clue how to solve what she has started to do, and any help or advice would be appreciated.
I think I understand your daughters problem. I am 57 with aspergers which became more powerful at puberty , post pregnancy and after menopause.
I often dont get a message from my body/brain which gives an early warning that I need to pee sometime soon. I get a message when I am just about to pee . . . and this is often way too late to do anything about it, the message says its happening now.
What I suggest is that you set up a reward system for regular trips to the loo. Probably every hour or maybe 2. So that she pees because she is there and not because she is responding to messages in the way most peole do. You could have a timer, set to an hour . . . at the o'clock is probably good and it will become so familiar with time that you might not need the timer or the rewards in the end.
I feel that a physical reward would be best . . something nice and hopefully reasonably healthy if possible. But a sweet might do. You know your daughter best and her likes and dislikes.You do need to be consistent with this.
So in a way you are taking responsibility for her peeing regime . . . not her at the moment , because she is unable to . . .
Also my brain can be distracted by overwhelming stimuli . . or anxiety. You know the filter doesnt work too well and all stimuli can be of equal importance to the brain. It can be easy for the brain to be so caught up in coping with other things, negative or positive that the body message doesnt get through . . . like there is no space for itto travel through into the inbox. Perhaps . .. check out your environment . . do you tend to have the radio or tv on? Do you have fluorescent lighting . . . take a step back and be in your space imaging that everything gets into your head . . rather than being filtered in the way it is for you.
Is there anything about your loo that she might find unpleasant . . or on the way there?
I like to pee outside on the ground , much nicer than in a loo.But then I live in a very remote spot.
Do you have chemicals in there . . air fresheners?
Hw about letting her have access to a container that she can pee in if she has been doing the timer thing but still has problems . . something to hand . . .A plastic jug in a colour she likes. Try to be imaginative and sympathetic and good luck !