I am in my mid-forties and have had a difficult relationship with my mum my whole life. I have always accepted that she is how she is - sometimes loving, sometimes thoughtless, sometimes resentful, sometimes a bit odd - as I knew no different. However someone has recently suggested to me that she might have Aspergers and it has thrown my world and all I know into turmoil. Could she have this condition, and not just be someone who has alternated between being a kind mum and a hurtful and neglectful one?
When I was a child, if she was angry with me for any reason she would withdraw, and not speak to me for days, sometimes weeks. She has always avoided any kind of confrontation or emotional conversation. She seems resentful of me, and sometimes thoughtless of my feelings, but could this be because she doesn't know how to behave? She is very controlling, suggesting strongly what I should wear, read, cook and getting defensive if I disagree. With my children, she will bring them books that only she is allowed to read to them (and she won't read them any other books, only those that she has brought), and then takes them away with her again. She sometimes says things that are inappropriate, not in a offensive way, just not what you would expect. When my husband proposed, instead of saying 'Congratulations', she said 'He's asked you that before hasn't he?' This has always upset me, I thought she was being unkind, but maybe just unusual?
Anyway, sorry for long post, but this suggestion opens up a world of different possibilities and I would really just be grateful for any opinions, or other people's experiences.
