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Feeling down

random

Hi,

Just feeling down with things at the moment, I went to a music gig last night. It overran and I had to leave early to get my train, missing 2 pieces that were special to me. I had allowed a good 40 minutes flexibility in my plans.

Rushed back to get on last train, just made it. I went in to first class carraige, and felt really angry after some youths pointed out I was in wrong place. I am sure its just because I had my old jacket on. Just the way he said it, in such a demeaning way. I do travel first class sometimes, but on longer journeys.

Had a bad week last week, and was hoping this would give me a couple of hours break to enjoy something

I have a bit of a challenging week ahead, another deadline to get my complaint against my company pension to ombudsman, which I missed over a week back.

Returned to work, and other team members want me to document a feature I had been working on. Problem is, it takes me a long time to write things down, and as usual they want everything yesterday. I have offered to walk them through things face to face which would only take 15 minutes to half an hour. I have already given an hour and a half presentation.

Car is in for MOT on tuesday, and anything to do with the car seems to stress me out. 

One of my obessions is old stereo equipment, and have been looking for years for a certain pair of speakers. On Friday see a pair come up on ebay, and in the description he says he is open for offers on them. I was going to email him, but things were stressful at work. I have only seen one other pair on ebay in past eight years. I won those, agreed to collect them, on day before, the seller refunds my money saying he damaged them when moving them.

In the evening I ask him some questions, and he tells me he has already agreed to sell them. For the same price I was going to offer to him. Really annoyed with myself for not contacting him earlier in the day, thought about it, but just so much other stuff to deal with.

On my walk back from train station past another couple on the pavement and got an odd sneering gesture from the bloke.

Really struggling to keep things togrther at the moment. I don't know why I seem to always be fighting things, wheras many other just seem to be happily stumbling their way through life, with very few difficulties. 

Random

  • BTW I I'm in a very stressful time myself as I have to move out my rented home. Sorry I'm not super helpful,  myself find helps with stress by talking about my intrests to people that have similar ones to my self. Music helps heal most of my pain.

    Check this out

    m.youtube.com/watch

  • Same here I try to keep my taste wide, I love pink floyd. Seeing that you are intrested in ambient you be intrested in a cd called pure moods it's a mix cd that came out in the 90's. Got it when it first came out and helped me with my depression. 

  • Thanks for your reply, doing that as I type. I have very wide taste in music, but more recently neo classical / electronic / ambient. Have been using spotify a lot to discover new music recently. Discovered a band called "A Winged Victory for the Sullen", a few others "Grandbrothers", and "Kishi Bashi". The more classic stuff, I am in to the Beatles, Pink Floyd, David Bowie, Brian Eno.

    Random

  • I have a stereo in my bedroom which I love it to bits, it helps me unwind in stressful times. 

    What types of music do you like?

  • Thanks for the reply, interesting points, and resonates with me. I attended a lecture last year by Jim Lovell and he said something at the end of the speech about, people who worry too much about things, and how it would be horrible to live like that. I really wish I had got the exact wording, but sound was not that good.

    One challenge out of the way, car passed its MOT; there's always something they mention to keep me worrying. They said it struggled to meet emissions, had to re-do test 3 times; so might fail next time.

    Random

  •  I don't know why I seem to always be fighting things, wheras many others just seem to be happily stumbling their way through life, with very few difficulties. 

    Random

    Probably for the same reason that Aspies (maybe not all, I'm no expert) pick-up on all that is going on when they enter a room. We don't simply focus on just one or two aspects of a situation but take things to the nth.degree in examining every possible angle of something. This can be a great strength but can also be a burden when it is unecessary to 'think too much' about things that are really not that important. I think that people, to a greater or lesser extent on the AS, have the kind of brain that is hyper-aware and often get saddled with stimulii that is unwanted. Aspies are very good at 'worrying' and no wonder, with the kind of brain they have.

    The funny thing is Aspies are supposed to have a kind of 'social blindness' and do not read subtle facial and other non-verbal signs well.

  • Thanks for the replies, I certainly have noticed "aftershocks" when smaller problems feel so raw when bigger problems that remain unresolved still linger.

    The biggest one for me, is my housing situation, has been going on for years, and just spirals down.

    That's followed by being on my own and not being able to establish Relationship, or even just Friendships; again going on for years.

    Financial problems sneaks in at third place, am in a bitter dispute with pension company who put my pension in wrong funds resuling in losses of several thousand pounds. They state I phoned them to instruct in to wrong funds, but that simply didn't happen.

    Everything else in life just seems a huge amount of effort and stress. Try and make a point of going out for the odd evening during year, but arranging tickets is a nightmare. Trying to find out details is a real pain

    Random

  • This may not be much help but if we all dropped dead tommorow life would still carry on without us. I suppose what I'm really saying is that the stuff we tend to worry about and 'catastrophize' really isn't that important in the scheme of things and that it is our minds that are causing the problems, not the problems themselves.