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Teen Daughter with Aspergers

Jojo19

Hi I'm new to this site so am not entirely sure how it works.  My daughter is 15 and was diagnosed with Aspergers last year.  She manages fairly well on a day to day basis and is in mainstream school.  She is very intelligent but suffers from severe anxiety.  She releases this anxiety in the form of meltdowns. She only ever has these meltdowns in the home.  As she's got older they have got more intense and extreme with screaming, shouting, anger, throwing things, hitting things, etc.  It is very hard to describe without it sounding like just a teen tantrum but believe me it is totally different.  It can last for hours until the anger is out and then she will sob and can actually talk about how she feels.  We are trying different techniques and it is definitely a work in progress.  I would love to hear from other parents who are going through the same experience.

Parents

  • I can totally relate to your post.  It's the most horrendous thing when they have meltdowns.  As a parent you feel so helpless.  My daughter uses me to get her anger out.  She screams at me, tells me I don't understand and if I walk away she follows me shouting awful things.  I've done alot of reading and research since my daughter was diagnosed.  I tell her it's not her fault but it's the way her body deals with her anxiety.  The smallest thing can make her anxiety levels rise and this never gets a chance to go down as something else will happen to make it rise even more until it gets to the point where the cup is too full and it overflows.  Once the cup is empty again she feels exhausted but much better. Stimulation can make the meltdowns worse like conversation, i.e. telling her to calm down (this is the worse thing to say),trying to reason with her, or touching her. Once she's in that state she just has to get it out.  We have a trampoline at the end of the garden and I tell my daughter to go to the trampoline.  She can either lay on it and look up at the sky or jump on it to get her aggression out.  This is a fairly new technique but has helped so far.  It's a place where there isn't anything much around her to stimulate her.  We also have an emoji system so she sends me an emoji to tell me how she's feeling like

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  • I can totally relate to your post.  It's the most horrendous thing when they have meltdowns.  As a parent you feel so helpless.  My daughter uses me to get her anger out.  She screams at me, tells me I don't understand and if I walk away she follows me shouting awful things.  I've done alot of reading and research since my daughter was diagnosed.  I tell her it's not her fault but it's the way her body deals with her anxiety.  The smallest thing can make her anxiety levels rise and this never gets a chance to go down as something else will happen to make it rise even more until it gets to the point where the cup is too full and it overflows.  Once the cup is empty again she feels exhausted but much better. Stimulation can make the meltdowns worse like conversation, i.e. telling her to calm down (this is the worse thing to say),trying to reason with her, or touching her. Once she's in that state she just has to get it out.  We have a trampoline at the end of the garden and I tell my daughter to go to the trampoline.  She can either lay on it and look up at the sky or jump on it to get her aggression out.  This is a fairly new technique but has helped so far.  It's a place where there isn't anything much around her to stimulate her.  We also have an emoji system so she sends me an emoji to tell me how she's feeling like

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