My son was born 4 weeks early. He's always been behind with his development and it was always assumed that this was the reason why. It's been horrible sitting back and watching while his peers all sit up, crawl,walk,talk at the appropriate times while he's lagged behind. Having to watch all the proud parent moments on Facebook when their kids walk at 11 months at recite the alphabet on their second birthday while my son has yet to say mama or dada has upset me on a daily basis.
At his last developmental review he was not hitting any of his milestones and was referred to the paediatrician. His childminder suggested that she thought he might have autistic traits. We laughed this off initially as he is a content and happy little boy who makes eye contact, laughs and giggles, sleeps and eats well and can cope with change in location and routine. But there are niggles. He doesn't point, he doesn't ask for things in a verbal or none verbal way, he doesn't play with other children and he has an obsession with opening and closing doors and pressing the same buttons over and over on his toys. He's also not very imaginative with his play, refuses to draw or paint and doesn't play in a conventional way (e.g will spin the wheels on a toy car rather than push it along the floor)
During his consultation I could read between the lines (or rather the leading questions) that there are red flags and the paediatrician thinks he is autistic to some degree although she wouldn't commit to anything. He has been referred to occupational health and speech and language and we are now playing a waiting game. I have since committed the cardinal sin and started reading things online and in books about how many people with autism are unable to hold down jobs, make friends, live independently or have relationships.
I am now worried sick about the future. As a parent you want nothing but the best for your kids and for them to lead a full and happy life. I keep winding myself up thinking about what the future may hold for him and as a control freak the fear of the unknown is huge.
Hopefully through this forum I can get some advice and reassurance from people who understand and have been there. If anything it has helped me to get this off my chest and write it down.