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Can't do it anymore

Kenzy

My son is Autistic and mentally ill. I have been caring for him for 29 years and i am nearly 60 . Over the past year he has become so unstable, I can no longer cope, it is far too much for me. He needs expert help but there isn't any. I have told his doctor and the mental health team, they just say how sorry they are to hear it but have no advice Or offer any help ,I am on my own.   so,I am going to leave him and my home and disappear . Can't put him in supported living, he has been assessed and found unsuitable. They said his behaviour problems and demand for 100% of someone's attention for 16 hours day , they could not cope with . But I am supposed to

  • I really feel for you, although I am not in the same situation as you, I have seriously considered what you have said. To simply walk entirely out of my life, and set up again with no ties. I have no dependents or have to care for anyone like you. I am also fighting to get the support I need, and hitting my head against a brick wall.

    I feel really angry about way the system is overlooking adults in need of support and care, while seems to be better support (I'm not saying it's perfect, or anything close to that) for young families.

    A child may have a more years ahead of them, but children, adults, elderly should be treated equally.

    Maybe worth changing GP, I have only recently discovered a new GP at my practice, and things do seem to be moving for me a bit better since I have seen him, he seems to be actually listening to me, which I didn't feel with my other GPs.

    I wish you all the best, and hope things become easier for you and your son

    Random

  • Oh Kenzy,

    I understand your predicamnet.  We had to make our son homeless, to literally say enough is enough and pack a bag for him (he wasn't going to do it) and pushed him out with a letter saying that he was now homeless.  The council swiftly took over, and placed him in a house with carers.  He has now 'grown up' a little, I don't really mean that but he understands that his actions on me and us give consequences to him, and we are going on holiday together next week to France.  Hope we all survive the seven days away!!

    Don't be bullied by the authorities.  You deserve your home.

    Hope all goes well for you, whatever you decide.

    I'm autistic by the way and so is our son.

    Take care, Margaret

  • Adding to FS's suggestions, most areas have at least one carers advocacy service.