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Non supportive Nan

Little Len's mum

Hi everyone, I have very recently joint to NAS and this is my first post regarding my son. He is 2 years old and officially got diagnosed last week. It's obviously been emotional, I know you all understand that. But what I have struggled with the most is the lack of support from family. Most people seem to be in denial. I've been angry because I don't ask for anything other then understanding. But people are struggling with this because "he doesn't look autistic" I called my mum as soon as I got out of the meeting to confirm little ones autism, I don't really know what I was expecting her to say but it got into the subject of him being non verbal and she said it was my fault. I know deep down its not really my fault and that she is just dealing with this anyway she can, however, it's made me realise that she just hasn't got it. And now I think back, everytime she has spoken to me or anyone else, she mentions he has slight or mild autism, with the emphasis being on the SLIGHT or MILD. 

Sorry to bore you all with this, I really didn't think she would upset me as much as what it has but out of all that has happened over the last year, this is what actually broke my heart, that if all people, my usually biggest supporter and cheerleader has dropped me and pulled away. 

im a bit lost and sad

love to you all x

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Little Len's Mum,

    Welcome to the community. There is a mixture of parents and adults, like me, on the spectrum here so you can get an understanding from "inside the shell" as well as from other parents.

    Autism is a very difficult thing to understand and it is also very hard to distinguish parenting issues from the effects of autism. People from previous generations, and also people who don't know better often simply won't get it at all. In addition, some older folk may also be on the spectrum and this can, paradoxically, make them less understanding of someone else's situation.

    A lot of people will also associate an autism diagnosis with people with very severe learning difficulties. They won't understand that autism is a vary specific thing that can affect people of all abilities.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Little Len's Mum,

    Welcome to the community. There is a mixture of parents and adults, like me, on the spectrum here so you can get an understanding from "inside the shell" as well as from other parents.

    Autism is a very difficult thing to understand and it is also very hard to distinguish parenting issues from the effects of autism. People from previous generations, and also people who don't know better often simply won't get it at all. In addition, some older folk may also be on the spectrum and this can, paradoxically, make them less understanding of someone else's situation.

    A lot of people will also associate an autism diagnosis with people with very severe learning difficulties. They won't understand that autism is a vary specific thing that can affect people of all abilities.

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