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Why are we not allowed to share contact details?

AspyMum

Hi,

I am new here and I am diagnosed ASD, 43 years old and have never met another ASD person.  

I find it very hard to small talk, in fact I don't...  I know I try and who knows what my face is doing while I'm trying to keep track of the stream of fluff that people like to call 'conversation' but I don't think I'm that convincing!  It would be lovely to meet others, but whilst reading a few posts on here I see that contact details are not to be shared?  Have I got that wrong?  

Confused!!   

Parents

  • Ok, if I'm allowed to stay anything here goes...

    I feel slightly uncomfortable, maybe unsettled is a better word, about the NAS.  Just one point would be the photos on the website of 'Autistic People'.  They all seem to show someone who looks 'disabled' with an able carer sitting beside them, what about people like us?  I don't have or need a carer (someone understanding to talk to at times would be lovely though!)  Isn't that perpetuating the stereotype that to be 'really Autistic' you have to be quite severe?  

    I tried to join a mothers group for Autistic children (my child is ASD) and I asked if there were any other mothers there who also had a diagnosis, there was a long pause then the woman on the other end said, 'Well no, not a formal diagnosis but I'm sure we all recognise Autistic traits in ourselves some days'.  NO, that's NOT what I meant!!!!  Or the other group where the woman on the phone said, 'I really can't stand it when people think they're Autistic and they're not'. ARRRGHHHHH!!!!

    I have an NHS diagnosis with a huge report that quite succinctly outlines all my traits and puts me fair and square in the Autistic category, not borderline, but really in there... and yet I have managed to hide most of these things. I avoid socialising (unless the people are intense and do NOT smalltalk) I don't really go out much at all (movies are the one exception) so then life is manageable.  If no-one see's you for more than a few minutes at any time then I can hide things, people think I'm awkward, abrupt, maybe rude but not Autistic.  But I hate it that when someone can talk to me on the phone, and I sound 'normal' then they think I'm making it up!!!  Life is really HARD, sometimes unbearably so!!

    What do you think?  Do you think the photos are representative?  

    And what has been your experience with people when you have told them you are Autistic?

Reply

  • Ok, if I'm allowed to stay anything here goes...

    I feel slightly uncomfortable, maybe unsettled is a better word, about the NAS.  Just one point would be the photos on the website of 'Autistic People'.  They all seem to show someone who looks 'disabled' with an able carer sitting beside them, what about people like us?  I don't have or need a carer (someone understanding to talk to at times would be lovely though!)  Isn't that perpetuating the stereotype that to be 'really Autistic' you have to be quite severe?  

    I tried to join a mothers group for Autistic children (my child is ASD) and I asked if there were any other mothers there who also had a diagnosis, there was a long pause then the woman on the other end said, 'Well no, not a formal diagnosis but I'm sure we all recognise Autistic traits in ourselves some days'.  NO, that's NOT what I meant!!!!  Or the other group where the woman on the phone said, 'I really can't stand it when people think they're Autistic and they're not'. ARRRGHHHHH!!!!

    I have an NHS diagnosis with a huge report that quite succinctly outlines all my traits and puts me fair and square in the Autistic category, not borderline, but really in there... and yet I have managed to hide most of these things. I avoid socialising (unless the people are intense and do NOT smalltalk) I don't really go out much at all (movies are the one exception) so then life is manageable.  If no-one see's you for more than a few minutes at any time then I can hide things, people think I'm awkward, abrupt, maybe rude but not Autistic.  But I hate it that when someone can talk to me on the phone, and I sound 'normal' then they think I'm making it up!!!  Life is really HARD, sometimes unbearably so!!

    What do you think?  Do you think the photos are representative?  

    And what has been your experience with people when you have told them you are Autistic?

Children
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