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20 year old son diagnosed with Aspergers and ADD

Halffull

Hello everyone,

I joined this site just before Christmas and have been reading around some of the discussions to see if I could find a situation that will help me with mine. I hope you don't mind but I'd like to summarise the timeline that's led me/my son to where we are:

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers early last year after I suggested to him that I thought he maybe on the spectrum. We visited our GP who referred him to the local NHS clinic where he went through the diagnostic process. We waited a long time for the assessment to come through and during this period, after my son's struggle to complete an A level course (after 3 years) unsuccessfully, he told me he thought he had ADD. He was desparatly concerned about himself as he was struggling to function on a day to day basis (anxiety, unable to measure time, lack of motivation and inability to finish things he'd started To list a few). I was prompted to act quickly and paid for a private diagnosis ( with family help) as he said he'd been self medicating to help with what he thought he had wrong with him. The diagnosis was that he has ADD as well.

My son is a very eloquent young man with a good vocabulary. His reading age when at primary school was at a teenagers level. He has 8 GCSE's which he achieved without studying. From the outset, a stranger would just see him as a little odd. He is extremely loving and caring and so wants to function well and enjoy his life now.

Life with him growing up through his teenage years has been a struggle ( non conforming at school, breaking school rules, smoking first then moving onto canabis and I'm sure probably harder stuff). His Dad left us when he was 12 and has very little to do with him.

Drugs have been a large problem for the last 5 years and his inability to stop bringing them into my home and total disrespect for me and my home led him to leave last year and he's now in assisted housing. I still see him regularly and I try to keep the conversation light as he doesn't want any advice or help from me. otherwise our conversations start spiralling and we never achieve anything.

He is now in the situation where he struggles to wake up and sleeps late into the day and is awake all night. Getting up late means his ADD meds are pointless as the day has gone. He says he's dealing with it. But once again he's self medicating as he has no faith in the medical profession. I have tried so hard to encourage him to go to the GP about his sleeping problems and I have asked him to access the local Autism services. But he shuts me down.

a development occurred over Christmas when he's received an invitation to attend some Post Diagnostic Sessions at the Aspegers clinic ( more than 6 months after diagnosis!). I thought he wouldn't go but he said he will. I'm hoping this will help.

You see, he has wanted to get himself on track before trying to get a job, which I understand and fully support, but by doing it his way, six months down the line and he's no further forward. 

I'm conscious I've rambled on and on. Sorry. I just wanted to see if anyone could offer any suggestions as to how best I can help him. ( by the way, I believe he has kicked the drugs now....just self medicates!)

thank you

  • Hi,

    I have my post diagnostic sessions coming up soon too, I am not sure how they are going to go. I think it will depend if there are other people there you can "click" with. It is going to be a case of giving it a try and see how it goes. I think your son will benefit from them, but possibly in different ways to what he may be "expecting". As your son has blocked any help from Autism team, it may help him to see how others have benefited from their support. Its really good he wants to go to them,

    It is great you have some good communication with your son, and he clearly has drive and determination to want to move forward, I think this will help him the most. Anxiety & Depression go hand in hand, a member of my autism team said people with aspergers find it difficult to explain or express their feelings.

    When I was your sons age, I had similar problems going out. I put that down to rightly or wrongly, that I was suffering from Agoraphobia, although I was experiencing panic attacks as well. I managed to get this to a level I could live with some counsueling, self-help books, and returning to college. It could be totally different to your son, just mentioning it as something to look into. It was in my experience, something distinct from my anxiety and depression.

    Random

    Edit:

    I need to add there are similarities between agoraphobia symptoms and asperger traits, even between panick attacks and meltdowns. I still experience the asperger traits, and all the social anxieties, but I don't have the fears I had about generally getting out and about, I still can't stand loud or crowded venues.

     

  • Thank you for your thoughts.

    I do think he suffers from depression. I had a long chat with him last night and I told him how great it was that he'd stopped the drugs. Thanks for that. And he appreciated my comments.

    he describes his anxiety as something deep within himself, and he can't look at it. That it's not therapeutic and talking wouldn't fix it. I'm not totally sure what he means here. His anxiety prevents him from going out. He said he gets anxious just seeing people walking along the other side of the road. Then there's his memory, which isn't very good so he keeps a notepad with him all the time, making lists, jotting things down. He says its like a triangle, the anxiety and poor memory causing his depression.

    He just wants to get his body and mental state into a rhythm so he can function day to day. He has started to talk about university again. He wants to be around like minded people. He also said he is looking forward to going to post diagnostic sessions to meet people like himself. Will that be the case? And do you think these sessions will help him too?

  • I don't know what to suggest, but if he has "kicked the drugs now and just self medicates", that is real progress, let him know how you feel about that.

    I didn't have your sons problems with drugs when I was his age, but share his aspergers. I had incredible problems waking up, was always extremely exhausted. I had college to get up early for, and then a job. I am wondering if depression may be playing a part in this. 

    If he is more active at night, maybe worth considering employment on a night shift. Less popular jobs, so would get more of a chance.

    I had a problem with insomnia some years ago, and seeked help from my local surgery. I saw several, and only found one to understand sleep problems to be able to help me. 

    Random